Seeking God's Wisdom in Marriage Decisions and Choices
Seeking God's wisdom in marriage decisions and choices involves a deliberate and prayerful approach to a divinely instituted covenant relationship [4]. The Bible frequently uses marriage as a metaphor for the covenant between God and His people, highlighting its sacred nature [14, 15].
The concept of "seeking God" is a recurring theme in scripture, encompassing a desire for His name, word, face, strength, and commandments [3]. It is commanded in passages like Isaiah 55:6 and Matthew 7:7 [3]. This seeking should be immediate and involve prayer [3]. In the context of marriage, seeking God's wisdom means making it a primary concern, as emphasized in Job 8:5, which encourages individuals to "seek unto God betimes," or early, making it their "first and chief anxiety" [5].
Marriage itself is described as a covenant relationship [2, 4], instituted by God for the happiness of humanity, the increase of population, and the raising of "godly seed" [4]. Malachi 2:15 states that the Lord made husband and wife "one, having a portion of the Spirit," specifically "because He seeks godly offspring" [2]. This divine purpose underscores the importance of careful decision-making in choosing a spouse.
A key aspect of seeking God's wisdom is the "fear of the Lord." This is not a servile dread but a reverential awe and respect for God's authority and holiness [6, 13]. Proverbs 9:10 states that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" [10]. This fear counteracts inner turmoil and brings peace [9]. Isaiah 8:13-15 further illustrates this, indicating that fearing the Lord makes Him a sanctuary, while fearing people can lead to destruction [7, 8]. Therefore, in making marriage decisions, individuals are encouraged to prioritize God's will and guidance over human opinions or fears.
Biblical texts also provide guidance on the nature of marriage. It is lawful for all and honorable [4]. However, a crucial stipulation is that marriage should be "only in the Lord" [4]. While the specific interpretation of "in the Lord" can vary, it generally implies a shared faith and commitment to God's principles. The marriage contract is understood to be for life, with death being the only annulment [12]. The "guide of her youth" in Proverbs 2:17 refers to a lawful husband, and the "covenant of her God" refers to the marriage made in God's name [11].
Decisions in life, including those concerning marriage, require a firm resolve. Torrey's Topical Textbook emphasizes that "decision" is necessary for serving God and is exhibited in seeking God with the heart, keeping His commandments, and following Him fully [1]. This decisiveness is contrasted with double-mindedness or "halting between two opinions" [1]. Therefore, seeking God's wisdom in marriage involves not only prayer and reverence but also a resolute commitment to follow His revealed will.
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Decision — Necessary to the service of God -- Lu 9:62. Exhortations to -- Jos 24:14,15. Exhibited in Seeking God with the heart. -- 2Ch 15:12. Keeping the commandments of God. -- Ne 10:29. Being on the Lord's side. -- Ex 32:26. Following God fully. -- Nu 14:24; 32:12; Jos 14:8. Serving God. -- Isa 56:6. Loving God perfectly. -- De 6:5. Blessedness of. -- Jos 1:7. Opposed to A divided service. -- Mt 6:24. Double-mindedness. -- Jas 1:8. Halting between two opinions. -- 1Ki 18:21. Turning to the right or left. -- De 5:32. Not setting the heart aright. -- Ps 78:8,37. Exe”
- Malachi “Malachi 2:15 (BSB) — Has not the LORD made them one, having a portion of the Spirit? And why one? Because He seeks godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Seeking God — Commanded -- Isa 55:6; Mt 7:7. Includes seeking His Name. -- Ps 83:16. His word. -- Isa 34:16. His face. -- Ps 27:8; 105:4. His strength. -- 1Ch 16:11; Ps 105:4. His commandments. -- 1Ch 28:8; Mal 2:7. His precepts. -- Ps 119:45,94. His kingdom. -- Mt 6:33; Lu 12:31. His righteousness. -- Mt 6:33. Christ. -- Mal 3:1; Lu 2:15,16. Honour which comes from him. -- Joh 5:44. Justification by Christ. -- Ga 2:16,17. The city which God has prepared. -- Heb 11:10,16; 13:14. By prayer -- Job 8:5; Da 9:3. In his house -- De 12:5; Ps 27:4. Should be Immediate. -- H”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Job (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Job 8:5: seek unto God betimes--early. Make it the first and chief anxiety (Psa 78:34; Hos 5:15; Isa 26:9; Pro 8:17; Pro 13:24).”
- Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 65:8: 65:8 All over the world (Job 38:13; see Ps 50:1-3), people should stand in awe of the Lord.”
- Isaiah (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Isaiah 8:11: 8:11-15 This text reveals the heart of Isaiah’s message. The issue was fear of the Lord versus fear of people (see 7:9; 8:6). When an individual fears people, the Lord becomes a trap and destruction is certain (cp. Prov 29:25; see “Fearing People” Theme Note). For those who fear the Lord, he becomes a sanctuary; their salvation is assured.”
- 1 Peter (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Peter 3:14: 3:14-15 or be afraid of their threats: See Isa 8:13, where God exhorts the prophet to fear nothing except the Lord. • worship Christ as Lord: By fearing Christ, they will be free from fear of their human persecutors.”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 15:16: 15:16 A healthy fear for the Lord counteracts inner turmoil and brings inner peace. • Better to have little: See also 16:8.”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 9:10: 9:10-12 Fear of the Lord: See study note on 1:7.”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 2:17: guide . . . youth--lawful husband (Jer 3:4). covenant . . . God--of marriage made in God's name.”
- 1 Corinthians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Corinthians 7:39: The whole is here closed up with advice to widows: As long as the husband liveth the wife is bound by the law, confined to one husband, and bound to continue and cohabit with him. Note, The marriage - contract is for life; death only can annul the bond. But, the husband being dead, she is at liberty to marry whom she will. There is no limitation by God's law to be married only for such a number of times. It is certain, from this passage, that second marriages are not unlawful; for then the widow could not be at liberty to marry whom she pleased, nor to marr”
- Isaiah (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Isaiah 8:13: Sanctify--Honor His holy name by regarding Him as your only hope of safety (Isa 29:23; Num 20:12). him . . . fear--"fear" lest you provoke His wrath by your fear of man and distrust of Him.”
- Ezek (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezek 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”