Setting Healthy Boundaries in Compassionate Giving Situations
Setting Healthy Boundaries in Compassionate Giving
The concept of setting healthy boundaries in compassionate giving is rooted in biblical teachings that emphasize the importance of balancing generosity with wisdom. In 2 Corinthians 8:9, the apostle Paul presents Jesus Christ as the ultimate model for generous giving, highlighting how He became poor to enrich others through His sacrifice [8]. This selfless act sets a precedent for Christian giving, encouraging believers to be liberal in their charity.
The biblical principle of moderation is crucial in maintaining healthy boundaries. The Greek concept of "epieikes" (translated as "moderation" or "yieldingness") is discussed in Philippians 4:5, where Jamieson, Fausset & Brown interpret it as "considerateness for others, not urging one's own rights to the uttermost, but waiving a part, and thereby rectifying the injustices of justice" [2]. This virtue is exemplified in God's dealings with humanity, where He chooses not to exact the full measure of justice, instead showing mercy.
In the context of charitable giving, the apostle Paul advises the Corinthians to give bountifully, emphasizing that the manner of giving is as important as the act itself. Matthew Henry notes that giving should be done liberally, without being "pinch[ed] and spar[ed]" [3]. This approach is echoed in 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul underscores the superiority of charity (or love) over all other gifts, highlighting the importance of self-sacrificing deeds [4].
The early Christian fathers also addressed the issue of boundaries in giving. John Chrysostom, in his Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians, reflects on the apostles' boldness in asking for aid, suggesting that this taught their disciples to despise outward appearances and value humility and love [5]. This perspective encourages a nuanced understanding of giving, one that considers both the giver's and the recipient's dignity.
In practical terms, setting healthy boundaries involves discerning when and how to give. The Tyndale House commentary on 1 Timothy 5:1 suggests that proper conduct within the household of God involves honoring social boundaries and treating various groups (such as the elderly, widows, and slaves) with respect and care [6]. Similarly, Matthew Henry's commentary on Proverbs 19:17 emphasizes the dual aspects of charity: compassion (an inward principle) and bounty (outward liberality) [7].
The Nonconformist/Puritan tradition, as represented by Matthew Henry's commentary on Colossians 3:12, exhorts believers to "put on bowels of mercy," emphasizing the need to cultivate compassion and kindness towards others [1]. This inward disposition is essential for setting healthy boundaries, as it ensures that giving is motivated by genuine concern rather than obligation or external pressure.
Sources
- Colossians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Colossians 3:12: The apostle proceeds to exhort to mutual love and compassion: Put on therefore bowels of mercy, Col 3:12. We must not only put off anger and wrath (as Col 3:8), but we must put on compassion and kindness; not only cease to do evil, but learn to do well; not only not do hurt to any, but do what good we can to all. I. The argument here used to enforce the exhortation is very affecting: Put on, as the elect of God, holy and beloved. Observe, 1. Those who are holy are the elect of God; and those who are the elect of God, and holy, are beloved - beloved of God, and”
- Philippians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Philippians 4:5: moderation--from a Greek root, "to yield," whence yieldingness [TRENCH]; or from a root, "it is fitting," whence "reasonableness of dealing" [ALFORD], that considerateness for others, not urging one's own rights to the uttermost, but waiving a part, and thereby rectifying the injustices of justice. The archetype of this grace is God, who presses not the strictness of His law against us as we deserve (Psa 130:3-4); though having exacted the fullest payment for us from our Divine Surety. There are included in "moderation," candor and kindliness. Joy ”
- 2 Corinthians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 2 Corinthians 9:6: Here we have, I. Proper directions to be observed about the right and acceptable manner of bestowing charity; and it is of great concernment that we not only do what is required, but do it as is commanded. Now, as to the manner in which the apostle would have the Corinthians give, observe, 1. It should be bountifully; this was intimated, Co2 9:5, that a liberal contribution was expected, a matter of bounty, not what savoured of covetousness; and he offers to their consideration that men who expect a good return at harvest are not wont to pinch and spare in s”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 13 (introduction): CHARITY OR LOVE SUPERIOR TO ALL GIFTS. (Co1 13:1-13) tongues--from these he ascends to "prophecy" (Co1 13:2); then, to "faith"; then to benevolent and self-sacrificing deeds: a climax. He does not except even himself, and so passes from addressing them ("unto you," Co1 12:31) to putting the case in his own person, "Though I," &c. speak with the tongues--with the eloquence which was so much admired at Corinth (for example, Apollos, Act 18:24; compare Co1 1:12; Co1 3:21-22), and with the command of various languages, which some at ”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: fed the dull-minded Jews with manna, have reduced the Apostles to the necessity of asking for aid? Is it not manifest He aimed at the great benefits of humility and love, and that those who were under teaching might not be ashamed of Teachers who were in appearance despicable? To ask for aid bears the semblance of disgrace, but it ceased to be so, when their Teachers with all boldness urged their claim, so that their disciples derived from hence no small benefit, taught hereby to despise all appearances. Wherefore he says, “But 1”
- 1 Timothy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Timothy 5:1: 5:1–6:2a Right conduct in God’s household (see 3:15) relates to old and young (5:1-2), widows (5:3-16), elders (5:17-25), and slaves (6:1-2a). Proper honor within the household cuts across social boundaries.”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 19:17: Here is, I. The duty of charity described. It includes two things: - 1. Compassion, which is the inward principle of charity in the heart; it is to have pity on the poor. Those that have not a penny for the poor, yet may have pity for them, a charitable concern and sympathy; and, if a man give all his goods to feed the poor and have not this charity in his heart, it is nothing, Co1 13:3. We must draw out our souls to the hungry, Isa 58:10. 2. Bounty and liberality. We must not only pity the poor, but give, according to their necessity and our ability, Jam 2:15,”
- 2 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 2 Corinthians 8:9: 8:9 The model for generous giving is the Lord himself, who was rich in the Father’s presence (John 17:5, 24) yet became poor by accepting a human existence and death on the cross (see Phil 2:6-11). By that self-giving sacrifice, he could make people rich with the blessings of salvation.”