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Sex in Marriage According to Christian Teaching

Christian teaching regards marriage as an institution established by God in Paradise, before the fall of humanity, with its original charter found in Genesis 2:18-24 [1]. This foundational account, confirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19:4-5, serves as the basis for all regulations concerning marriage [1]. From this initial institution, several principles are derived, including the unity of man and wife, the indissolubility of the marriage bond, and monogamy as the original design [6]. While polygamy and concubinage appeared in patriarchal times, the original law of marriage was monogamous [1].

One of the primary purposes of marriage, as divinely instituted, is the prevention of sexual immorality [2]. The Apostle Paul addresses this directly in 1 Corinthians 7, stating that "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9). This passage, alongside others, indicates that sexual intimacy within marriage is a mutual right and responsibility for both spouses [8]. Married Christians are encouraged to be considerate of their spouse's sexual needs, and neither spouse should withhold sexual intimacy from the other [8]. Marriage involves yielding authority over one's body to one's spouse, though this authority is not to be abused [8].

Beyond preventing fornication, Christian teaching identifies several other purposes for marriage. These include the happiness of humanity, increasing the human population, and raising up "godly seed" [2]. The blessing to "increase and multiply and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28) is understood as a gift of marriage as God instituted it from the beginning [10]. Augustine, a prominent patristic theologian, emphasized that the good of the nuptial institution includes offspring, faithfulness, and the bond itself [12]. He noted that in the marriage of Mary and Joseph, these elements were present, even without cohabitation, highlighting the spiritual aspects of the marital bond [12].

The Bible consistently upholds marriage as honorable among all, with the marriage bed being undefiled (Hebrews 13:4) [4]. God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers, underscoring the sanctity of the marital union [4]. Jesus himself affirmed the indissolubility of marriage, stating that divorce, except for sexual immorality, and subsequent remarriage constitutes adultery (Matthew 19:9) [5].

The concept of "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24) is central to the Christian understanding of marriage. This unity implies a deep connection between husband and wife, where they become a single entity [6]. While the wife is often described as being in subjection to her husband "in every thing" (Ephesians 5:24), this is understood within a framework of mutual respect and love [3, 7]. The New Testament also emphasizes that in Christ, there is no distinction between male and female in terms of Christian privileges, though traditional roles within marriage are still recognized [15, 13].

Patristic writers, such as Augustine, further elaborated on the nature of sex within marriage. He argued that if sin had not entered the world, sexual union in paradise would have been without shame, even though generation would still have occurred through the union of sexes [16]. He distinguished between the procreative aspect of marriage, which was blessed by God before the fall, and the shame associated with sexual intercourse after the fall [10, 16]. Augustine also suggested that in the resurrection, people will not marry or be given in marriage, but will be "as the angels of God in heaven," equal in immortality and happiness, but not in flesh [9]. This perspective highlights a spiritualization of relationships in the eschatological future, where the procreative function of marriage is no longer necessary.

Some early Christian writers, like Athenagoras, viewed sexual indulgence within marriage primarily for the purpose of procreation, comparing it to a farmer sowing seed for harvest [11]. This perspective suggests a disciplined approach to sexual activity, limiting it to its procreative function. However, other interpretations, particularly from the Protestant academic tradition, emphasize the mutual sexual needs and rights of spouses within marriage, not solely for procreation but also for intimacy and preventing immorality [8].

The Jewish tradition, as exemplified by Maimonides, also addresses sexual conduct, even for married individuals. While it permits married men to touch their genitals for urination, it generally advises against actions that might stimulate sexual thoughts outside of appropriate marital contexts [14]. This reflects a broader concern for sexual purity and self-control that resonates with Christian teachings.

Sources

  1. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — Was instituted in Paradise when man was in innocence (Gen. 2:18-24). Here we have its original charter, which was confirmed by our Lord, as the basis on which all regulations are to be framed (Matt. 19:4, 5). It is evident that monogamy was the original law of marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16). This law was violated in after times, when corrupt usages began to be introduced (Gen. 4:19; 6:2). We meet with the prevalence of polygamy and concubinage in the patriarchal age (Gen. 16:1-4; 22:21-24; 28:8, 9; 29:23-30, etc.). Polygamy was acknowledged in the Mosa”
  2. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
  3. Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (Geneva1599) — Therfore as the Church is in subiection to Christ, euen so let the wiues be to their husbands in euery thing.”
  4. Hebrews “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. -- Hebrews 13:4”
  5. Matthew “I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” -- Matthew 19:9”
  6. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — + Its origin and history .--The institution of marriage dates from the time of man's original creation. (Genesis 2:18-25) From (Genesis 2:24) we may evolve the following principles: (1) The unity of man and wife, as implied in her being formed out of man. (2) The indissolubleness of the marriage bond, except on; the strongest grounds, Comp. (Matthew 19:9) (3) Monogamy, as the original law of marriage (4) The social equality of man and wife. (5) The subordination of the wife to the husband. (1 Corinthians 11:8,9; 1 Timothy 2:13) (6) The respective duties of ”
  7. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Man — Is of God -- 1Jo 4:7. Commanded by God -- 1Jo 4:21. Commanded by Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; 1Jo 3:23. After the example of Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; Eph 5:2. Taught by God -- 1Th 4:9. Faith works by -- Ga 5:6. A fruit of the Spirit -- Ga 5:22; Col 1:8. Purity of heart leads to -- 1Pe 1:22. Explained -- 1Co 13:4-7. Is an active principle -- 1Th 1:3; Heb 6:10. Is an abiding principle -- 1Co 13:8,13. Is the second great commandment -- Mt 22:37-39. Is the end of the commandment -- 1Ti 1:5. Supernatural gifts are nothing without -- 1Co 13:1,2. The greates”
  8. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
  9. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 2: Augustine — City of God, Christian Doctrine — CHAP. 17.--WHETHER THE BODIES OF WOMEN SHALL RETAIN THEIR OWN SEX IN THE RESURRECTION. (part 2): enjoined, says, "Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God."(3) And though it was a fit opportunity for His saying, She about whom you make inquiries shall herself be a man, and not a woman, He said nothing of the kind; but "In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven."(4) They shall be equal to the angels in immortality and happiness, not in flesh, nor in resurre”
  10. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 2: Augustine — City of God, Christian Doctrine — CHAP. 22.--OF THE CONJUGAL UNION AS IT WAS ORIGINALLY INSTITUTED AND BLESSED BY GOD. (part 1): But we, for our part, have no manner of doubt that to increase and multiply and replenish the earth in virtue of the blessing of God, is a gift of marriage as God instituted it from the beginning before man sinned, when He created them male and female,--in other words, two sexes manifestly distinct. And it was this work of God on which His blessing was pronounced. For no sooner had Scripture said, "Male and female created He them,"(3) than it”
  11. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 2: Hermas, Tatian, Theophilus, Athenagoras, Clement of Alexandria — CHAP. XXXIII.--CHASTITY OF THE CHRISTIANS WITH RESPECT TO MARRIAGE.: Therefore, having the hope of eternal life, we despise the things of this life, even to the pleasures of the soul, each of us reckoning her his wife whom he has married according to the laws laid down by us, and that only for the purpose of having children. For as the husbandman throwing the seed into the ground awaits the harvest, not sowing more upon it, so to us the procreation of children is the measure of our indulgence in appetite. Nay, you woul”
  12. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 5: Augustine — Anti-Pelagian — CHAP. 13.--IN THE MARRIAGE OF MARY AND JOSEPH THERE WERE ALL THE BLESSINGS OF THE WEDDED STATE; ALL THAT IS BORN OF CONCUBINAGE IS SINFUL FLESH.: The entire good, therefore, of the nuptial institution was effected in the case of these parents of Christ: there was offspring, there was faithfulness, there was the bond.[11] As offspring, we recognise the Lord Jesus Himself; the fidelity, in that there was no adultery; the bond,[11] because there was no divorce. [XII.] Only there was no nuptial cohabitation; because He who was to be without sin, and was sen”
  13. 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 11:11: Yet neither sex is insulated and independent of the other in the Christian life [ALFORD]. The one needs the other in the sexual relation; and in respect to Christ ("in the Lord"), the man and the woman together (for neither can be dispensed with) realize the ideal of redeemed humanity represented by the bride, the Church.”
  14. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 21:23: It is forbidden for an unmarried man to extend his hand to his testicles, lest he be stimulated to [sexual] thoughts. Indeed, he should not extend his hand below his navel, lest he be stimulated to [sexual] thoughts. If he urinates, he should not hold the shaft of his organ while urinating. If he is married, 59 Even if his wife is not together with him ( Beit Shmuel 23:4). this is permitted. Whether he is married or not, he should not extend his hand to his organ at all, except when he has to urinate. 60 See Shulchan Aru”
  15. Galatians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Galatians 3:28: There is in this sonship by faith in Christ, no class privileged above another, as the Jews under the law had been above the Gentiles (Rom 10:12; Co1 12:13; Col 3:11). bond nor free--Christ alike belongs to both by faith; whence he puts "bond" before "free." Compare Note, see on Co1 7:21-22; Eph 6:8. neither male nor female--rather, as Greek, "there is not male and female." There is no distinction into male and female. Difference of sex makes no difference in Christian privileges. But under the law the male sex had great privileges. Males alone ”
  16. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 5: Augustine — Anti-Pelagian — CHAP. 37 [XXII.]--IF THERE IS NO MARRIAGE WITHOUT COHABITATION, SO THERE IS NO COHABITATION WITHOUT SHAME.: "Show me," he says, "any bodily marriage without sexual connection." I do not show him any bodily marriage without sexual connection; but then, neither does he show me any case of sexual connection which is without shame. In paradise, however, if sin had not preceded, there would not have been, indeed, generation without union of the sexes, but this union would certainly have been without shame; for in the sexual union there would have been a quie”
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