Biblical Principles for Effective Parenting and Discipleship
Biblical principles for parenting and discipleship emphasize the spiritual and moral development of children, viewing them as gifts from God [3]. Parents are called to raise their children in a manner that honors God and prepares them for a life of faith and obedience [2].
A foundational principle is the diligent instruction of children in God's Word. Deuteronomy 6:7 commands parents to teach God's statutes "diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up" [7]. This continuous instruction is not merely academic but aims to instill a fear and love of God [3, 4]. Parents are to instruct their children in God's word, tell them of His judgments and miraculous works, and command them to obey God [2]. The goal is for children to know the Scriptures, which can make them wise for salvation [1].
Discipleship in the home also involves training and discipline. Proverbs 22:6 advises, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." This training involves catechizing and initiating children, keeping them under discipline, and preparing them for life, much like soldiers are trained [12]. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" [11]. This discipline should be loving and gentle, drawing children to the Lord rather than alienating them [11]. While earthly fathers discipline for a limited time and with imperfect knowledge, God's discipline is continuous, always good, and aims for His children to share in His holiness [13].
Children, in turn, have responsibilities within this framework. They are to obey their parents, which is "well pleasing to God" [1, 3]. This obedience is rooted in honoring parents, as commanded in Exodus 20:12, and attending to parental teaching [3]. Christ himself serves as an example of obedience to parents, as seen in Luke 2:51 [3]. The conduct of children, even in their youth, can be a test of their principles [14].
Beyond instruction and discipline, parents are to provide for their children and bless them [2]. They are also encouraged to bring their children to Christ, following the example of those who brought children to Jesus for His blessing [2, 3]. The spiritual well-being of children is paramount, with the expectation that they will remember God in their youth and be capable of glorifying Him [3, 5]. The promise is that if children keep God's covenant, their descendants will also be blessed [8, 10].
The broader Christian conduct that parents are to model includes believing, fearing, loving, and obeying God, as well as following Christ's example [4]. This holistic approach to parenting and discipleship aims to raise children who are not only knowledgeable in faith but also embody Christian conduct in their lives [10]. The emphasis is on moving beyond elementary principles to spiritual maturity, ensuring that the foundation laid in childhood leads to steadfastness in faith [6, 9].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Missionaries, All Christians Should Be As — After the example of Christ -- Ac 10:38. Women and children as well as men -- Ps 8:2; Pr 31:26; Mt 21:15,16; Php 4:3; 1Ti 5:10; Tit 2:3-5; 1Pe 3:1. The zeal of idolaters should provoke to -- Jer 7:18. The zeal of hypocrites should provoke to -- Mt 23:15. An imperative duty -- Jdj 5:23; Lu 19:40. The principle on which -- 2Co 5:14,15. However weak they may be -- 1Co 1:27. From their calling as saints -- Ex 19:6; 1Pe 2:9. As faithful stewards -- 1Pe 4:10,11. In youth -- Ps 71:17; 148:12,13. In old age -- De 32:7; Ps 71:18. In”
- Hebrews “Therefore leaving the teaching of the first principles of Christ, let us press on to perfection—not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works, of faith toward God, -- Hebrews 6:1”
- Deuteronomy “and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. -- Deuteronomy 6:7”
- Psalms “If your children will keep my covenant, my testimony that I will teach them, their children also will sit on your throne forever more.” -- Psalms 132:12”
- Hebrews (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Hebrews 6 (introduction): WARNING AGAINST RETROGRADING, WHICH SOON LEADS TO APOSTASY; ENCOURAGEMENT TO STEADFASTNESS FROM GOD'S FAITHFULNESS TO HIS WORD AND OATH. (Heb 6:1-14) Therefore--Wherefore: seeing that ye ought not now to be still "babes" (Heb 5:11-14). leaving--getting further forward than the elementary "principles." "As in building a house one must never leave the foundation: yet to be always laboring in 'laying the foundation' would be ridiculous" [CALVIN]. the principles of the doctrine--Greek, "the word of the beginning," that is, the discussion ”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 20:7: The conduct of good men proclaims their sound principles. God's covenant and their good example secure blessing to their children (Pro 4:26; Psa 112:1-2).”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:4: 6:4 Fathers can often provoke their children to anger by being harsh or unjust (see Col 3:21). Parents should give their children the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (or the discipline and instruction about the Lord) so that they will learn a way of living that is good and pleases God. Such discipline is not to be excessive, but loving and gentle, so that children are not turned from the Lord but are drawn to him (cp. Heb 12:5-11).”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 22:6: Here is, 1. A great duty enjoined, particularly to those that are the parents and instructors of children, in order to the propagating of wisdom, that it may not die with them: Train up children in that age of vanity, to keep them from the sins and snares of it, in that learning age, to prepare them for what they are designed for. Catechise them; initiate them; keep them under discipline. Train them as soldiers, who are taught to handle their arms, keep rank, and observe the word of command. Train them up, not in the way they would go (the bias of their corrupt ”
- Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 12:10: 12:10-11 There are at least two limitations on an earthly father’s discipline. First, his discipline, or education, is only for a few years (literally for a few days)—children eventually leave home. Second, earthly fathers were doing the best they knew how from their limited perspectives. By contrast, God’s discipline lasts throughout life and is always good for us, based on his limitless knowledge and love. His goal is that we might share in his holiness. Although it is painful, discipline brings about a peaceful harvest of right living. It brings God’s childre”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 20:11: The conduct of children even is the best test of principle (compare Mat 7:16).”