Submission and Consent in Christian Marriage Relationships
Christian teachings on marriage emphasize both submission and mutual consent, drawing from various New Testament passages. Marriage itself is understood as a divine institution, a covenant relationship designed for human happiness, procreation, and the prevention of sexual immorality [3, 5].
The concept of submission in marriage is primarily addressed to wives in several biblical texts. Ephesians 5:24 states, "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" [1]. Similarly, Colossians 3:18 instructs, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" [4]. First Peter 3:1 advises wives to "submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives" [2]. This submission is often interpreted as an "affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands" [12]. Some scholars note that the instruction for wives to submit is part of a broader call for mutual submission among believers, as seen in Ephesians 5:21, "submit to one another" [8, 9]. This general instruction applies to various relationships within the Christian home, including wives and husbands, children and parents, and masters and servants [8].
While wives are called to submit, husbands are simultaneously commanded to love their wives [6]. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This love is presented as a sacrificial and solicitous love, mirroring Christ's relationship with the Church [13]. The husband's role as head of the relationship is intended to be loving and respectful [11].
Consent, particularly in the context of sexual intimacy, is also highlighted. First Corinthians 7:3-4 emphasizes that "married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld" [10]. This passage suggests that marriage involves "yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse," though this authority is not to be abused [10]. The biblical framework for marriage thus involves distinct, yet complementary, responsibilities for husbands and wives, aiming to reflect the union between Christ and the Church [6, 7].
Sources
- Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (BSB) — Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
- I Peter “I Peter 3:1 (BSB) — Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Colossians “Colossians 3:18 (BSB) — Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — Was instituted in Paradise when man was in innocence (Gen. 2:18-24). Here we have its original charter, which was confirmed by our Lord, as the basis on which all regulations are to be framed (Matt. 19:4, 5). It is evident that monogamy was the original law of marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16). This law was violated in after times, when corrupt usages began to be introduced (Gen. 4:19; 6:2). We meet with the prevalence of polygamy and concubinage in the patriarchal age (Gen. 16:1-4; 22:21-24; 28:8, 9; 29:23-30, etc.). Polygamy was acknowledged in the Mosa”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:22: (Eph 6:9.) The Church's relation to Christ in His everlasting purpose, is the foundation and archetype of the three greatest of earthly relations, that of husband and wife (Eph 5:22-33), parent and child (Eph 6:1-4), master and servant (Eph 6:4-9). The oldest manuscripts omit "submit yourselves"; supplying it from Eph 5:21, "Ye wives (submitting yourselves) unto your own husbands." "Your own" is an argument for submissiveness on the part of the wives; it is not a stranger, but your own husbands whom you are called on to submit unto (compare Gen 3:16”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- 1 Peter (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Peter 3:1: 3:1-7 The last of Peter’s three exhortations about accepting authority (2:13–3:7) concerns wives and husbands (cp. Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-19). 3:1 accept the authority of (literally submit to): Wives are instructed to acknowledge that God has appointed the husband as head of the relationship (see 2:13; Eph 5:22-25). Submission in the ancient world took the form of obedience (see 1 Pet 3:6). God also intends the husband to be a loving and respectful head (3:7; see Eph 5:25-30). However, Peter focuses especially on wives with pagan husbands who would potentially be h”
- 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 3:1: The apostle having treated of the duties of subjects to their sovereigns, and of servants to their masters, proceeds to explain the duty of husbands and wives. I. Lest the Christian matrons should imagine that their conversion to Christ, and their interest in all Christian privileges, exempted them from subjection to their pagan or Jewish husbands, the apostle here tells them, 1. In what the duty of wives consists. (1.) In subjection, or an affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands, which obliging conduct would”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:25: "Thou hast seen the measure of obedience; now hear also the measure of love. Do you wish your wife to obey you, as the Church is to obey Christ? Then have a solicitude for her as Christ had for the Church (Eph 5:23, "Himself the Saviour of the body"); and "if it be necessary to give thy life for her, or to be cut in ten thousand pieces, or to endure any other suffering whatever, do not refuse it; and if you suffer thus, not even so do you do what Christ has done; for you indeed do so being already united to her, but He did so for one that treated Hi”