Submission in the Context of Christian Marriage and Love

Christian teaching on submission in marriage is rooted in biblical passages, particularly in the New Testament epistles, and is understood within the broader context of mutual respect and love among believers. The Apostle Paul's letter to the Ephesians is a primary source for this doctrine, where he instructs believers to be "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" ^[2]. This general principle of mutual submission serves as a foundation for specific instructions regarding marital relationships ^{[9, 10]}.

In Ephesians 5, Paul elaborates on this concept, stating, "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" ^[1]. This instruction for wives to submit to their husbands is presented as part of the Christian life, reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church ^{[7, 8]}. Other New Testament passages echo this, including 1 Corinthians 11:3-10, Colossians 3:18, 1 Timothy 2:11-12, Titus 2:5, and 1 Peter 3:1-6 ^[7]. The submission expected of wives is often described as an "affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands" ^[13].

However, this submission is not unilateral. The same passage in Ephesians emphasizes the husband's reciprocal duty: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25) ^[12]. This command for husbands to love their wives is considered equally important to the wives' call to submit ^[7]. The love expected of husbands is sacrificial, mirroring Christ's self-giving love for the Church, even to the point of giving his life ^[12]. This implies a protective and nurturing role for the husband, who is to be "the Saviour of the body" ^[12].

The concept of submission in Christian marriage is often understood as a reflection of a divine order, with Christ as the head of the Church, and the husband as the head of the wife ^{[7, 11]}. This headship, however, is not to be exercised in a domineering way but with love and respect ^[11]. The relationship between husband and wife is thus seen as an earthly reflection of the union between Christ and the Church ^{[7, 8]}.

Beyond the marital context, the Bible presents submission as a broader Christian virtue. Christ himself exemplified submission, notably in his resignation to the will of God in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:39-44) and his submission to ordinances like baptism (Matthew 3:13-15) ^{[3, 4, 5]}. His humility was demonstrated through taking on human nature, his birth, his subjection to his parents, and his willingness to serve others ^[5]. Christians are called to self-denial, following Christ's example, by denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, controlling appetites, and abstaining from fleshly desires ^[6]. This general call to submission and humility among believers underpins the specific instructions for marital roles, emphasizing that love and respect should characterize all relationships within the body of Christ ^[10].

Sources

Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (BSB) — Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
King James Version “[KJV] Ephesians 5:21 — Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Resignation — Christ set and example of -- Mt 26:39-44; Joh 12:27; 18:11. Commanded -- Ps 37:7; 46:10. Should be exhibited in Submission to the will of God. -- 2Sa 15:26; Ps 42:5,11; Mt 6:10. Submission to the sovereignty of God in his purposes. -- Ro 9:20,21. The prospect of death. -- Ac 21:13; 2Co 4:16-5:1. Loss of goods. -- Job 1:15,16,21. Loss of children. -- Job 1:18,19,21. Chastisements. -- Heb 12:9. Bodily suffering. -- Job 2:8-10. The wicked are devoid of -- Pr 19:3. Exhortation to -- Ps 37:1-11. Motives to God's greatness. -- Ps 46:10. God's love. -- Heb 12:”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Baptism — As administered by John -- Mt 3:5-12; Joh 3:23; Ac 13:24; 19:4. Sanctioned by Christ's submission to it -- Mt 3:13-15; Lu 3:21. Adopted by Christ -- Joh 3:22; 4:1,2. Appointed an ordinance of the Christian church -- Mt 28:19,20; Mr 16:15,16. To be administered in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- Mt 28:19. Water, the outward and visible sign in -- Ac 8:36; 10:47. Regeneration, the inward and spiritual grace of -- Joh 3:3,5,6; Ro 6:3,4,11. Remission of sins, signified by -- Ac 2:38; 22:16. Unity of the Church effected by -- 1Co 12:13; Ga 3:27,2”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Humility of Christ, The — Declared by himself -- Mt 11:29. Exhibited in his Taking our nature. -- Php 2:7; Heb 2:16. Birth. -- Lu 2:4-7. Subjection to his parents. -- Lu 2:51. Station in life. -- Mt 13:55; Joh 9:29. Poverty. -- Lu 9:58; 2Co 8:9. Partaking of our infirmities. -- Heb 4:15; 5:7. Submitting to ordinances. -- Mt 3:13-15. Becoming a servant. -- Mt 20:28; Lu 22:27; Php 2:7. Associating with the despised. -- Mt 9:10,11; Lu 15:1,2. Refusing honours. -- Joh 5:41; 6:15. Entry into Jerusalem. -- Zec 9:9; Mt 21:5,7. Washing his disciples' feet. -- Joh 13:5. Obedi”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Self-Denial — Christ set an example of -- Mt 4:8-10; 8:20; Joh 6:38; Ro 15:3; Php 2:6-8. A test of devotedness to Christ -- Mt 10:37,38; Lu 9:23,24. Necessary In following Christ. -- Lu 14:27-33. In the warfare of saints. -- 2Ti 2:4. To the triumph of saints. -- 1Co 9:25-27. Ministers especially called to exercise -- 2Co 6:4,5. Should be exercised in Denying ungodliness and worldly lusts. -- Ro 6:12; Tit 2:12. Controlling the appetite. -- Pr 23:2. Abstaining from fleshly lusts. -- 1Pe 2:11. No longer living to lusts of men. -- 1Pe 4:2. Mortifying sinful lusts. -- Mr ”
Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:22: (Eph 6:9.) The Church's relation to Christ in His everlasting purpose, is the foundation and archetype of the three greatest of earthly relations, that of husband and wife (Eph 5:22-33), parent and child (Eph 6:1-4), master and servant (Eph 6:4-9). The oldest manuscripts omit "submit yourselves"; supplying it from Eph 5:21, "Ye wives (submitting yourselves) unto your own husbands." "Your own" is an argument for submissiveness on the part of the wives; it is not a stranger, but your own husbands whom you are called on to submit unto (compare Gen 3:16”
Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”
1 Peter (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Peter 3:1: 3:1-7 The last of Peter’s three exhortations about accepting authority (2:13–3:7) concerns wives and husbands (cp. Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-19). 3:1 accept the authority of (literally submit to): Wives are instructed to acknowledge that God has appointed the husband as head of the relationship (see 2:13; Eph 5:22-25). Submission in the ancient world took the form of obedience (see 1 Pet 3:6). God also intends the husband to be a loving and respectful head (3:7; see Eph 5:25-30). However, Peter focuses especially on wives with pagan husbands who would potentially be h”
Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:25: "Thou hast seen the measure of obedience; now hear also the measure of love. Do you wish your wife to obey you, as the Church is to obey Christ? Then have a solicitude for her as Christ had for the Church (Eph 5:23, "Himself the Saviour of the body"); and "if it be necessary to give thy life for her, or to be cut in ten thousand pieces, or to endure any other suffering whatever, do not refuse it; and if you suffer thus, not even so do you do what Christ has done; for you indeed do so being already united to her, but He did so for one that treated Hi”
1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 3:1: The apostle having treated of the duties of subjects to their sovereigns, and of servants to their masters, proceeds to explain the duty of husbands and wives. I. Lest the Christian matrons should imagine that their conversion to Christ, and their interest in all Christian privileges, exempted them from subjection to their pagan or Jewish husbands, the apostle here tells them, 1. In what the duty of wives consists. (1.) In subjection, or an affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands, which obliging conduct would”

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