Teaching Conflict Resolution with Matthew 18:15-17 Role-Plays
Matthew 18:15-17 outlines a three-step process for resolving conflict within the Christian community. The passage reads: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:15-17, ESV).
This passage is part of Jesus' fourth major discourse in Matthew, which focuses on the nature of community life among his followers [2]. In light of growing polarization, Jesus instructed his disciples on living with humility, sensitivity, compassion, discipline, and forgiveness [2]. The section containing verses 15-17 specifically addresses the need for the believing community to avoid being fractured by unresolved relationships and emphasizes the pursuit of reconciliation [3].
The initial step in conflict resolution, according to Jesus, is a private confrontation between the offended party and the one who has sinned [3]. This private approach is rooted in the principle of love, requiring one to point out the offense directly to the individual [3]. This aligns with Old Testament principles, such as Leviticus 19:17, which states, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him" [3]. The goal of this first step is to "gain your brother," implying restoration and reconciliation.
If the private conversation fails, the second step involves taking "one or two others along with you" to establish the charge by the evidence of multiple witnesses [3]. This step introduces a more formal, yet still contained, attempt at resolution. Should this also prove unsuccessful, the final step is to "tell it to the church" [3]. This indicates that the matter becomes a concern for the wider community. If the individual still refuses to listen, they are to be treated "as a Gentile and a tax collector," which signifies a separation from the community [3]. This stern discipline may be necessary at times [3].
The emphasis throughout this passage is on restoration, beginning privately and becoming public only as a last resort [3]. This approach contrasts with the idea that disputes should be avoided if at all possible, as suggested in Proverbs 17:14, which warns that "Like the release of water is the beginning of strife; before it breaks out, stop the quarrel" [1, 4]. However, when conflict does arise, Matthew 18:15-17 provides a structured path for resolution within the Christian community.
Sources
- Proverbs “Proverbs 17:14 (LEB) — Like the release of water is the beginning of strife; before it breaks out, stop the quarrel.”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 18:1: 18:1-35 This fourth major discourse in Matthew (see study note on Matt 5:1–7:29) focuses on responses to the Messiah—acceptance by the disciples and rejection by the Jewish leaders and most of the populace. In light of this growing polarization, Jesus began to instruct his followers on the nature of community life. For a community to live according to Jesus’ standards, it must live with humility (18:1-5), sensitivity (18:6-9), compassion (18:10-14), discipline (18:15-18), and forgiveness (18:21-35). As with the other discourses, a concluding formula (19:1-2) brid”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 18:15: 18:15-35 The believing community must not be fractured into rival parties and unreconciled relationships. Its members are to pursue reconciliation (18:15-20) and forgive willingly (18:21-35). At times, however, stern discipline may be necessary (18:17). 18:15-20 Restoration begins privately and should be made public only as a last resort. 18:15 If another believer sins, love requires us to go privately and point out the offense (Lev 19:17; Luke 17:3; Gal 6:1; 1 Tim 5:20; Titus 3:10).”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 17:14: 17:14 opening a floodgate: Once a quarrel starts, it is very difficult to stop it; a dispute should be avoided if at all possible (see 10:12; 15:18; 16:28; 20:3; 22:10; 26:21).”