Sexual Manipulation in Marriage: A Biblical Perspective
Marriage, as an institution, dates back to the creation of humanity (Genesis 2:18-25) [1]. It is divinely instituted and understood as a covenant relationship [2]. The Bible presents marriage as honorable and lawful for all, intended for human happiness, population increase, and the raising of godly offspring [2, 3]. Within this covenant, sexual intimacy is a mutual right and responsibility for both spouses [9].
The biblical understanding of marriage emphasizes several key principles: the unity of man and wife, the indissolubility of the marriage bond, monogamy as the original design, the social equality of man and wife, and the wife's subordination to the husband [1]. The concept of "subordination" here is balanced by the mutual yielding of authority over one's body to one's spouse, implying that this authority is not to be abused [9].
Sexual manipulation within marriage stands in contrast to these biblical principles. The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, addresses the sexual relationship within marriage, stating, "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." This passage underscores the mutual obligation and shared authority in the sexual aspect of marriage. The Tyndale House commentary on this verse explains that "married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld" [9]. This implies that withholding sexual intimacy as a means of control or punishment, or coercing a spouse into sexual acts, would constitute manipulation and violate the principle of mutual consideration and rights.
The Bible frequently uses marriage as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people [7, 8]. Adultery, in this symbolic language, represents spiritual unfaithfulness [7, 8, 11]. This symbolic weight highlights the sacredness and integrity expected within the marital bond. Just as God's covenant with Israel was based on faithful love despite Israel's rebellion, human marriage is meant to reflect a faithful and loving commitment [11].
The fall introduced an element of antagonism into the marriage relationship, where the woman might desire to control her husband, and he might rule over her (Genesis 3:16) [10]. However, new life in Christ offers a path to restore the marriage relationship, moving away from this antagonism towards a more harmonious dynamic (Ephesians 5:18-32) [10]. This restoration would inherently work against any form of manipulation, including sexual manipulation, fostering instead a relationship built on mutual respect and love.
Divorce, while regulated by Mosaic law, was limited by Christ to cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) [4, 5, 6]. This strict view on divorce further emphasizes the sanctity and permanence of the marital covenant. The prohibition against sexual involvement outside of marriage was a consistent teaching in Jewish and Christian traditions, contrasting with the more permissive attitudes in the wider Mediterranean world [12]. This strong emphasis on fidelity within marriage reinforces the idea that sexual relations are to be characterized by honor and mutual consent, not manipulation or coercion.
Sources
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — + Its origin and history .--The institution of marriage dates from the time of man's original creation. (Genesis 2:18-25) From (Genesis 2:24) we may evolve the following principles: (1) The unity of man and wife, as implied in her being formed out of man. (2) The indissolubleness of the marriage bond, except on; the strongest grounds, Comp. (Matthew 19:9) (3) Monogamy, as the original law of marriage (4) The social equality of man and wife. (5) The subordination of the wife to the husband. (1 Corinthians 11:8,9; 1 Timothy 2:13) (6) The respective duties of ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Hebrews “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. -- Hebrews 13:4”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
- Matthew “I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” -- Matthew 19:9”
- Matthew “but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery. -- Matthew 5:32”
- Ezek (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezek 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 3:16: 3:16 Judgment falls on the woman’s unique role of childbearing and on her relationship with her husband. • And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you: The marriage relationship now included an element of antagonism rather than just security and fulfillment. New life in Christ allows for the restoration of a man and a woman’s marriage relationship (Eph 5:18-32; cp. Matt 20:25-28).”
- Hosea (Lutheran) “Keil & Delitzsch on Hosea 3 (introduction): The Adulteress and Her Fresh Marriage - Hos 3:1-5 "The significant pair are introduced again, but with a fresh application." In a second symbolical marriage, the prophet sets forth the faithful, but for that very reason chastising and reforming, love of the Lord to rebellious and adulterous Israel. By the command of God he takes a wife, who lives in continued adultery, notwithstanding his faithful love, and places her in a position in which she is obliged to renounce her lovers, that he may thus lead her to return. Hos 3:1-3 contain the symbolical ac”
- 1 Thessalonians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Thessalonians 4:5: 4:5 Willful ignorance of God and his ways is the root of moral corruption (Rom 1:18-32; Eph 4:17-18). • lustful passion: Sexual immorality was often tolerated in the Mediterranean world. Prostitution was allowed, but sexual relations with another man’s wife were prohibited. Roman marriage customs barred women, but not men, from extramarital affairs. By contrast, Jewish and Christian authors alike prohibited all sexual involvement outside of marriage (Acts 15:20; 1 Cor 6:12-20; Col 3:5-6).”