The Importance of 100 Percent Submission in Marriage
Christian teachings on marriage emphasize a wife's submission to her husband, viewing it as an integral part of her Christian commitment [1]. This concept is frequently linked to passages such as Ephesians 5:22-33, which instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church [1]. Other New Testament texts, including 1 Corinthians 11:3-10, Colossians 3:18, and 1 Peter 3:1-6, also address the theme of submission within marriage [1].
The nature of this submission is often understood in conjunction with the husband's reciprocal duty to love his wife. For instance, the Tyndale House commentary on Ephesians 5:22-33 highlights that while wives are to submit and show respect, husbands are equally called to love their wives [1]. This mutual obligation is seen as reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church [1]. John Chrysostom, an early Church Father, emphasized the importance of love as the "strong tie" in marriage, suggesting that a husband who loves his wife will bear with her even if she is not perfectly obedient [12]. He also noted that while the wife is charged to fear (or respect) her husband, she ultimately gains from this arrangement because love is the principal duty [12].
The concept of marriage itself, across various traditions, is understood as a profound covenant. Charles Hodge, in his Systematic Theology, describes marriage as a voluntary, mutual compact between husband and wife, where they promise faithfulness to each other [11]. This compact is made in obedience to God, with vows of fidelity directed towards Him [11]. Hodge further asserts that monogamy is the "undoubted law of Christ" and a fundamental precept of Christianity, forbidding polygamy as sinful [3, 9]. one tradition argues that the sanctity of the family relation is crucial for the well-being of both the state and the Church [8].
In Catholic theology, Thomas Aquinas discusses marriage as having "goods," with the "sacrament" being the most important [6]. He distinguishes between marriage as an "office of nature" and as a "sacrament of grace," with the latter being more excellent [6]. Aquinas also addresses the validity of consent in marriage, stating that compulsory consent can invalidate a marriage if the fear involved is so great as to influence a "constant man," thereby undermining the perpetuity of the marriage bond [7]. This highlights the importance of free and uncoerced will in entering the marital covenant.
Jewish tradition, as articulated in Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, also emphasizes the contractual and legal aspects of marriage through the ketubah, or marriage contract [2, 4]. This document specifies financial obligations, such as a minimum sum of zuz for the wife, which varies depending on whether she is a virgin [4]. Maimonides states that it is forbidden for a man to live with his wife for even a moment without a ketubah [2]. The ketubah ensures the wife's financial security and defines the legal framework of the marital relationship [2, 4]. Furthermore, Maimonides notes that a marriage contract made by a minor is not fully binding until the male reaches majority and reaffirms his commitment [5]. This underscores the legal and mature consent required for the full establishment of marital obligations.
The idea of "100 percent submission" can be interpreted in different ways. In a Christian context, it is generally not understood as absolute subservience or the suppression of a wife's personhood, but rather as a willing deference within a relationship characterized by mutual love and respect, mirroring the Church's relationship with Christ [1]. The husband's leadership is to be exercised in a self-sacrificial manner, akin to Christ's love for the Church [1]. This perspective suggests that submission is not about inferiority but about an ordered relationship where each spouse fulfills distinct, yet complementary, roles for the good of the marriage and in obedience to God.
The concept of "perfection" or "100 percent" in any human endeavor, including marital submission, is also considered in theological discussions. Charles Hodge, when discussing the demands of God's law, argues that perfect conformity to the divine image is required, but that claiming perfection in this life often involves "lowering the demands of the law" [10]. This suggests that while the ideal of complete devotion and obedience is set forth, human beings, in their fallen state, will always fall short of absolute perfection. Therefore, "100 percent submission" in marriage, while an ideal to strive for, is understood within the context of human limitations and the need for grace.
Sources
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Marriage 11:17: If [the husband] desires to remain married to [his wife] after causing her to forfeit the fundamental requirement of the marriage contract, he must write her [a new ketubah for] 100 [ zuz ]. For it is forbidden for a man to live with his wife for even one moment without a ketubah , as we have explained. 34 Chapter 10, Halachah 10.”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: be admitted to the ministry, in neither case does the passage give authority to receive a polygamist into the fellowship of the Church. Considering, then, that monogamy is the undoubted law of Christ; considering that we have no evidence that He made an exception in favour of heathen converts; and considering the great importance that churches, founded in heathen lands, should bear true witness of the doctrines and precepts of Christianity, it would seem clear that no man having more than one wife should be admitted to Christian fellowshi”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Marriage 10:9: [A marriage contract] for a virgin may not be less than 200 [ zuz ], nor less than 100 [ zuz ] for a woman who is not a virgin. Whenever anyone [composes a marriage contract for] a lesser sum, the sexual relations [he conducts with his wife] are considered promiscuous. [Marital relations] are permitted whether the husband composes a legal document [recording] the ketubah , or whether he has witnesses observe him making a commitment for either 100 or 200 [zuz] and [reaffirms that] commitment with a contractual act. 23 I.e., a kinyan ch”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Marriage 11:7: When a male below the age of majority marries a woman, she is not entitled to a ketubah , even if he is already nine years and one day old. If he attains majority and remains [married] to her, she is entitled to the fundamental requirement of the ketubah . 14 I.e., only the fundamental requirements of the ketubah , but not any additional amount that the youth added to the marriage contract, unless he renews that commitment after he reaches majority. Otherwise, that commitment - like any commitment made by a minor - is of no substance.”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Marriage Goods, Art. 3: Article: Whether the sacrament is the chief of the marriage goods? I answer that, This or that may be more important to a thing in two ways, either because it is more essential or because it is more excellent. If the reason is because it is more excellent, then "sacrament" is in every way the most important of the three marriage goods, since it belongs to marriage considered as a sacrament of grace; while the other two belong to it as an office of nature; and a perfection of grace is more excellent than a perf”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of Compulsory and Conditional Consent, Art. 3: Article: Whether compulsory consent invalidates a marriage? I answer that, The marriage bond is everlasting. Hence whatever is inconsistent with its perpetuity invalidates marriage. Now the fear which compels a constant man deprives the contract of its perpetuity, since its complete rescission can be demanded. Wherefore this compulsion by fear which influences a constant man, invalidates marriage, but not the other compulsion. Now a constant man is reckoned a virtuous man who, according to the”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: § 11. The Seventh Commandment. This commandment, as we learn from our Lord’s exposition of it, given in his sermon on the mount, forbids all impurity in thought, speech, and behaviour. As the social organization of society is founded on the distinction of the sexes, and as the well-being of the state and the purity and prosperity of the Church rest on the sanctity of the family relation, it is of the last importance that the normal, or divinely constituted relation of the sexes be preserved in its integrity. Celibacy. Among the important ”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: his admission into the Christian Church? The answer to this question has been sought from three sources: First, the Scriptural doctrine of marriage; secondly, the example of the Apostles when dealing with such cases; and thirdly, from a consideration of the effects which would follow from making monogamy an indispensable condition of admission to the Church. As to the first point, it is admitted by all Christians, that it ie the law of God, the law of Christ, and consequently the law of the Christian Church that polygamy is sinful, being ”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 33: the love which the law requires of every rational creature calls for the devotion of the whole soul, with all its powers to God as a living sacrifice? It is only by making sin to be no sin; by teaching men that they are perfect when even their own hearts condemn them; it is only by lowering the demands of the law which, being founded on the nature of God, of necessity requires perfect conformity to the divine image, that any man in this life can pretend to be perfect, or be so insane as to imagine that he can go beyond the demands of the ”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: covenant with his brethren in the Lord; mutual obligations are assumed; but nevertheless the covenant is made with God. He joins the Church in obedience to the will of God; he promises to regulate his faith and practice by the divine word; and the vow of fidelity is made to God. It is the same in marriage. It is a voluntary, mutual compact between husband and wife. They promise to be faithful to each other; but nevertheless they act in obedience to God, and promise to Him that they will live together as man and wife, according to his word”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: course, but where the other exists, not necessarily. For the man who loves his wife, even though she be not a very obedient one, still will bear with everything. So difficult and impracticable is unanimity, where persons are not bound together by that love which is founded in supreme authority; at all events, fear will not necessarily effect this. Accordingly, he dwells the more upon this, which is the strong tie. And the wife though seeming to be the loser in that she was charged to fear, is the gainer, because the principal dut”