Role of Providence in Marriage Decisions and Choices
Divine providence plays a significant role in marriage decisions and choices, as God is understood to preserve and govern all things, including the affairs and free actions of individuals [1]. Marriage itself is considered a divine institution, established in Paradise when humanity was in innocence (Genesis 2:18-24) [2, 3]. This original charter was later confirmed by Jesus (Matthew 19:4-5) [2].
The concept of providence extends to the selection of a spouse. A discreet and virtuous wife is seen as a gift from God's providence, rather than solely the result of one's own wise choice or management [4]. Even the wisest individuals can be deceived in matters of marriage, underscoring the belief that such a blessing comes from God's goodness [4]. Therefore, individuals are encouraged to look to the Lord for an understanding wife [8].
The purpose of marriage, as divinely instituted, includes the happiness of humanity, increasing the population, raising godly offspring, and preventing fornication [3, 5]. The apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:2, states that "every man should have his own wife, and every woman her own husband" to avoid sexual immorality, indicating that marriage is a positive command for those who do not possess the gift of continency [5, 7]. This highlights marriage as a means of upholding moral order and chastity [6].
While marriage is lawful and honorable for all, it is also emphasized that it "should be only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39) [3]. This suggests that spiritual compatibility and alignment with God's will are important considerations in marital choices. Parents, in particular, are seen as having a role in guiding their children's marriage decisions. If a father believes it is appropriate and necessary to give his daughter in marriage, he does well, as it aligns with God's institution and can prevent various evils [9, 10]. Conversely, if he sees no necessity and believes his daughter can remain unmarried without sin, he does better [10]. This advice, given by the apostle Paul, reflects the understanding that while marriage is good, remaining unmarried for the sake of continence can also be a valid choice for some [7, 9].
Sources
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Providence — Literally means foresight, but is generally used to denote God's preserving and governing all things by means of second causes (Ps. 18:35; 63:8; Acts 17:28; Col. 1:17; Heb. 1:3). God's providence extends to the natural world (Ps. 104:14; 135:5-7; Acts 14:17), the brute creation (Ps. 104:21-29; Matt. 6:26; 10:29), and the affairs of men (1 Chr. 16:31; Ps. 47:7; Prov. 21:1; Job 12:23; Dan. 2:21; 4:25), and of individuals (1 Sam. 2:6; Ps. 18:30; Luke 1:53; James 4:13-15). It extends also to the free actions of men (Ex. 12:36; 1 Sam. 24:9-15; Ps. 33:14, 15; ”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — Was instituted in Paradise when man was in innocence (Gen. 2:18-24). Here we have its original charter, which was confirmed by our Lord, as the basis on which all regulations are to be framed (Matt. 19:4, 5). It is evident that monogamy was the original law of marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16). This law was violated in after times, when corrupt usages began to be introduced (Gen. 4:19; 6:2). We meet with the prevalence of polygamy and concubinage in the patriarchal age (Gen. 16:1-4; 22:21-24; 28:8, 9; 29:23-30, etc.). Polygamy was acknowledged in the Mosa”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 19:14: Note, 1. A discreet and virtuous wife is a choice gift of God's providence to a man - a wife that is prudent, in opposition to one that is contentious, Pro 19:13. For, though a wife that is continually finding fault may think it is her wit and wisdom to be so, it is really her folly; a prudent wife is meek and quiet, and makes the best of every thing. If a man has such a wife, let him not ascribe it to the wisdom of his own choice or his own management (for the wisest have been deceived both in and by a woman), but let him ascribe it to the goodness of God, who”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 7:2: Here the general rule is given to avoid fornication--More literally, "on account of fornications," to which as being very prevalent at Corinth, and not even counted sins among the heathen, unmarried persons might be tempted. The plural, "fornications," marks irregular lusts, as contrasted with the unity of the marriage relation [BENGEL]. let every man have--a positive command to all who have not the gift of continency, in fact to the great majority of the world (Co1 7:5). The dignity of marriage is set forth by Paul (Eph 5:25-32), in the fact”
- Deuteronomy (Lutheran) “Keil & Delitzsch on Deuteronomy 22:13: Laws of Chastity and Marriage. - Higher and still holier than the order of nature stands the moral order of marriage, upon which the well-being not only of domestic life, but also of the civil commonwealth of nations, depends. Marriage must be founded upon fidelity and chastity on the part of those who are married. To foster this, and secure it against outbreaks of malice and evil lust, was the design and object of the laws which follow. The first (Deu 22:13-21) relates to the chastity of a woman on entering into the married state, which might be called i”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:7: For I would that all men were even as I myself,.... The apostle speaks not of his state and condition, as married or unmarried, for it is not certain which he was; some think he had a wife, others not: it looks, however, as if he had not at this time, as appears from Co1 7:8 but be it which it will, it can hardly be thought he should wish all men to be in either state, either all married, or all unmarried; but he speaks of the gift of continency, which he had, as the following words show; and this he desires for all men, that they might not be in any danger from”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 19:13: 19:13-14 No choice for a son is more important than a good wife (cp. 31:10-31); a poor choice brings agony (see 10:1; 11:22; 12:4; 21:9, 19; 25:24; 27:15-17). The wise man will look to the Lord to give an understanding wife.”
- 1 Corinthians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Corinthians 7:36: In this passage the apostle is commonly supposed to give advice about the disposal of children in marriage, upon the principle of his former determination. In this view the general meaning is plain. It was in that age, and those parts of the world, and especially among the Jews, reckoned a disgrace for a woman to remain unmarried past a certain number of years: it gave a suspicion of somewhat that was not for her reputation. "Now," says the apostle, "if any man thinks he behaves unhandsomely towards his daughter, and that it is not for her credit to remain ”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:38: So then he that giveth her in marriage doth well,.... Does that which is in its own nature good; that which is agreeable to the will of God, is of his institution and appointment, and therefore must be good, and answer many good ends and purposes. Such an one that marries his daughter, he seeing a necessity for it, and a propriety in it, does a very good thing; secures her chastity, and his own credit; prevents fornication, and other evils that might follow; consults the good of mankind, and the honour of religion. But he that giveth her not in marriage doth ”