Understanding Motivation Behind Someone's Actions in a Past Relationship

Understanding the motivations behind past actions, particularly in relationships, involves considering both immediate volitions and underlying character traits. Human actions are not always purely casual or arbitrary; they often stem from principles and dispositions that control the will ^[8].

From a scholastic perspective, Thomas Aquinas explains that relations can cease in two ways: through the corruption of the subject or the removal of its cause ^[5]. This framework can be applied to understanding how the "cause" or motivation behind an action might change or cease to be relevant over time. Aquinas also notes that the actions of others can cause pleasure in three ways, primarily when one obtains some good through another's action ^[10]. This suggests that self-interest or the pursuit of a perceived good can be a significant motivator. Furthermore, Aquinas discusses how reason can rectify not only internal passions but also external actions and the things people use, indicating that actions are subject to rational evaluation and intention ^[9].

Jewish tradition, as seen in the Babylonian Talmud, suggests that when a person performs an action with an object they had dealings with in the past, they often do so with the original intention in mind, implying a continuity of motivation unless explicitly nullified ^[4]. Maimonides emphasizes the role of repeated actions in shaping character traits, suggesting that a person's deeds can become a permanent fixture of their personality through repetition ^[7]. This highlights how past actions can solidify certain motivations or dispositions.

Reformed theology, particularly through Charles Hodge, posits that individuals are responsible not only for deliberate acts of will but also for emotional, impulsive acts and the underlying principles or dispositions that determine these acts ^[6]. Hodge argues that there are principles or dispositions that control the will, and these can be strong enough to assure that an honest person will act honestly, and a benevolent person benevolently ^[8]. He also notes that in every voluntary act, there is some reason for acting as one did ^[12]. John Calvin, in his Institutes of the Christian Religion, discusses vows as acts of gratitude or repentance related to past events, indicating that past experiences can motivate future actions or expressions of feeling ^[11].

The Bible itself offers insights into motivations. Proverbs 17:9 suggests that covering a transgression seeks love, while repeating a matter separates friends, implying that actions are driven by desires for connection or avoidance of conflict ^[1]. Proverbs 18:1 indicates that a man, through desire, separates himself to seek wisdom ^[2]. Job 31:9 speaks of a heart going after another's wife or waiting secretly at a neighbor's door, illustrating motivations rooted in illicit desire ^[3]. Tertullian, a patristic writer, describes how initial desires, like for money, can grow into avarice, leading to actions like stealing, driven by increasing passion and "hostile powers" ^[13].

Sources

Proverbs “Proverbs 17:9 (YLT) — Whoso is covering transgression is seeking love, And whoso is repeating a matter Is separating a familiar friend.”
Proverbs “Proverbs 18:1 (KJV) — Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom.”
Job “Job 31:9 (BBE) — If my heart went after another man's wife, or if I was waiting secretly at my neighbour's door;”
Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 91a.1: Lest you say that in doing so his original intention is completely nullified, since when he carries it out he is no longer conscious of the reason that he stored it, the tanna of the mishna teaches us that anyone who performs an action with an object with which he had dealings in the past, performs the action with the original intention in mind.”
theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Impediment of Affinity, Art. 2: Article: Whether affinity remains after the death of husband or wife? I answer that, A relation ceases in two ways: in one way through the corruption of its subject, in another way by the removal of its cause; thus likeness ceases when one of the like subjects dies, or when the quality that caused the likeness is removed. Now there are certain relations which have for their cause an action, or a passion or movement (Metaph. v, 20): and some of these are caused by movement, through something being moved”
CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 2, section 28: we examine our own consciousness as to the judgment which we pass upon ourselves, we shall find that we hold ourselves responsible not only for the deliberate acts of the will, that is, for acts of deliberate self-determination, which suppose both knowledge and volition, but also for emotional, impulsive acts, which precede all deliberation; and not only for such impulsive acts, but also for the principles, dispositions, or immanent states of the mind, by which its acts whether impulsive or deliberate, are determined. When a man is convin”
Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Human Dispositions 1:7: How can one train himself to follow these temperaments to the extent that they become a permanent fixture of his [personality]? He 1 Having established personality development as a mitzvah in the previous halachah, the Rambam begins his explanation of how this mitzvah is fulfilled. should perform 2 repeat - and perform a third time - Thus, a person's deeds will shape his character traits. In this process of personal change, the stress is on the repetition of an act, and not on its quantity or intensity. In his Commentary on t”
CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 2, section 56: from a source beyond the control or ken of reason. They are purely casual, arbitrary, or capricious. They have no connection with the past, and give no promise of the future. On this hypothesis there can be no such thing as character. It is, however, a fact of experience universally admitted, that there are such things as principles or dispositions which control the will. We feel assured that an honest man will act honestly, and that a benevolent man will act benevolently. We are moreover assured that these principles may be so strong and”
theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Second Part of the Second Part (Secunda Secundae), Of Justice, Art. 8: Article: Whether particular justice has a special matter? I answer that, Whatever can be rectified by reason is the matter of moral virtue, for this is defined in reference to right reason, according to the Philosopher (Ethic. ii, 6). Now the reason can rectify not only the internal passions of the soul, but also external actions, and also those external things of which man can make use. And yet it is in respect of external actions and external things by means of which men can communicate with one”
theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, First Part of the Second Part (Prima Secundae), Of the Cause of Pleasure, Art. 5: Article: Whether the actions of others are a cause of pleasure to us? I answer that, As stated above (Article [1]; Question [31], Article [1]), two things are requisite for pleasure, namely, the attainment of one's proper good, and the knowledge of having obtained it. Wherefore the action of another may cause pleasure to us in three ways. First, from the fact that we obtain some good through the action of another. And in this way, the actions of those who do some good to us, are pleasin”
CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 95: future. To the past belong vows by which we either testify our gratitude toward God for favours received, or in order to deprecate his wrath, inflict punishment on ourselves for faults committed. The former, let us if you please call acts of thanksgiving; the latter, acts of repentance. Of the former class, we have an example in the tithes which Jacob vowed ( Gen. 28:20 ), if the Lord would conduct him safely home from exile; and also in the ancient peace-offerings which pious kings and commanders, when about to engage in a just wa”
CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 2, section 56: of the term. This is only saying, that a man cannot prefer against his preference or choose against his choice. A volition is a preference resulting in a decision. A man may have one preference at one time and another at another. He may have various conflicting feelings or principles in action at the same time; but he cannot have coëxisting opposite preferences. What consciousness teaches on this subject seems to be simply this: that in every voluntary act we had some reason for acting as we did; that in the absence of that reason, or in ”
Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — CHAP. II.--ON' THE OPPOSING POWERS. (part 5): occasions and beginnings of sins, which these hostile powers spread far and wide, and, if possible, beyond all limits. Thus, when men at first for a little desire money, covetousness begins to grow as the passion increases, and finally the fall into avarice takes place. And after this, when blindness of mind has succeeded passion, and the hostile powers, by their suggestions, hurry on the mind, money is now no longer desired, but stolen, and acquired by force, or even by shedding human b”

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