Understanding Provocation Tactics in Narcissistic Relationships
Provocation, in a general sense, involves inciting a response or action, often negative. In a theological context, this can relate to the ways in which individuals are led into sin or error. The early church father Tertullian discusses how "hostile powers" can spread "occasions and beginnings of sins," leading individuals from initial desires to more severe transgressions, such as covetousness escalating to avarice and theft [1]. These external influences can present enticements that require the "assent of the soul" and the "authority of the mind" to grant indulgence to a "wicked suggestion" [5].
The concept of provocation also touches upon the internal workings of human passions and actions. Clement of Alexandria identifies habits, actions, and passions as three components of human experience, with hortatory discourse guiding habits toward piety and faith [3]. Passions, when strongly moved, can hinder and disorder higher faculties like reason and will, as described by Thomas Aquinas in his discussion of lust [6]. This suggests that internal states, when provoked, can lead to actions that deviate from rational or virtuous conduct.
In the context of relationships, provocation can be understood as actions that test or challenge the bonds between individuals. Augustine, in On the Holy Trinity, discusses the importance of not giving a friend "cause to suppose either that we do not love him at all, or that we love" in a way that injures the friendship [2]. This highlights how perceived slights or provocations can undermine trust and affection.
The Bible also addresses the dangers of being led astray or seduced. The Apostle John warns against those who "seduce you," referring to attempts to lead believers into error [7]. Similarly, the book of Proverbs repeatedly cautions against the enticement of promiscuous relationships, describing them as a "trap" [10]. These biblical warnings underscore the destructive potential of deliberate or manipulative provocations that aim to draw individuals away from righteous paths.
Rabbinic tradition, as seen in Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, discusses scenarios where individuals are provoked or enticed into certain actions, such as an "audacious woman demands relations verbally" or a man seducing a woman for marriage [8]. These examples illustrate how human interactions can involve various forms of instigation, sometimes with complex motivations and consequences.
John Calvin, in his Commentary on Genesis, touches on the idea of enduring "infamy of the world" as a form of temptation, suggesting that believers should prudently guard against "every mark of evil" but also be prepared to face societal disapproval if it aligns with their "divine vocation" [9]. This perspective implies that external provocations, even those leading to negative social consequences, can be navigated with a focus on one's spiritual calling.
The idea of being "placed outside oneself" or experiencing "ecstasy" is also relevant, as Aquinas explains it can occur when the apprehensive power is raised to a higher knowledge, moving beyond "connatural apprehension of his sense" [4]. While not directly about negative provocation, this concept illustrates how intense experiences, whether positive or negative, can profoundly alter one's state of mind and perception, potentially making one more susceptible to external influences or internal passions.
Sources
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — CHAP. II.--ON' THE OPPOSING POWERS. (part 5): occasions and beginnings of sins, which these hostile powers spread far and wide, and, if possible, beyond all limits. Thus, when men at first for a little desire money, covetousness begins to grow as the passion increases, and finally the fall into avarice takes place. And after this, when blindness of mind has succeeded passion, and the hostile powers, by their suggestions, hurry on the mind, money is now no longer desired, but stolen, and acquired by force, or even by shedding human b”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — CHAP. 4.--THAT THE GREAT REASON FOR THE ADVENT OF CHRIST WAS THE COMMENDATION OF LOVE. (part 2): or when one who is already a lover either hopes that he may yet be loved in turn, or has by this time the evidence of a response to his affection. And if this holds good even in the case of base loves, how much more(1) in (true) friendship? For what else have we carefully to attend to in this question touching the injuring of friendship than to this, namely, not to give our friend cause to suppose either that we do not love him at all, or that we love ”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 2: Hermas, Tatian, Theophilus, Athenagoras, Clement of Alexandria — CHAP. I. THE OFFICE OF THE INSTRUCTOR. (part 1): AS there are these three things in the case of man, habits, actions, and passions; habits are the department appropriated by hortatory discourse the guide to piety, which, like the ship's keel, is laid beneath for the building up of faith; in which, rejoicing exceedingly, and abjuring our old opinions, through salvation we renew our youth, singing with the hymning prophecy, "How good is God to Israel, to such as are upright in heart!"[1] All actions, again, are the provi”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, First Part of the Second Part (Prima Secundae), Of the Effects of Love, Art. 3: Article: Whether ecstasy is an effect of love? I answer that, To suffer ecstasy means to be placed outside oneself. This happens as to the apprehensive power and as to the appetitive power. As to the apprehensive power, a man is said to be placed outside himself, when he is placed outside the knowledge proper to him. This may be due to his being raised to a higher knowledge; thus, a man is said to suffer ecstasy, inasmuch as he is placed outside the connatural apprehension of his sense an”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — FROM THE LATIN. (part 1): mind, unless he has discovered already, that when an enticement to any desire arises, nothing is accomplished until the assent of the soul is gained, and the authority of the mind has granted indulgence to the wicked suggestion; so that a claim might seem to be made by two parties on certain probable grounds as to a judge residing within the tribunals of our hurt, in order that, after the statement of reasons, the decree of execution may proceed from the judgment of reason.[2] For, to take an illustration: ”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Second Part of the Second Part (Secunda Secundae), Of Lust, Art. 5: Article: Whether the daughters of lust are fittingly described? I answer that, When the lower powers are strongly moved towards their objects, the result is that the higher powers are hindered and disordered in their acts. Now the effect of the vice of lust is that the lower appetite, namely the concupiscible, is most vehemently intent on its object, to wit, the object of pleasure, on account of the vehemence of the pleasure. Consequently the higher powers, namely the reason and the will, are most gr”
- 1 John (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 John 2:26: These things-- (Jo1 2:18-25). have I written--resumed from Jo1 2:21 and Jo1 2:14. seduce you--that is, are trying to seduce or lead you into error.”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 21:13: Similarly, our Sages said 41 Nedarim, loc. cit. . that whenever an audacious woman demands relations verbally, a man seduces a woman for the sake of marriage, he had the intent of having relations with his wife Rachel and instead, engages in relations with his wife Leah, or a woman does not wait three months after the death of her husband and gives birth to a son whose identity is questionable, 42 As stated in Hilchot Gerushin 11:16, whenever a woman is divorced or widowed, she should wait 90 days before remarrying, so t”
- CCEL (Reformed) “Calvin, Commentary on Genesis, Vol. 2 (Gen 24-50), section 16.12: calls us; not that he wishes us simply to be indifferent to our own reputation, but because it is an indignity, as well as an absurdity, that he should not be preferred to men. Let, then, the faithful, as much as in them lies, endeavor to edify their neighbors by the example of an upright life; and for this end, let them prudently guard against every mark of evil; but if it be necessary to endure the infamy of the world, let them through this temptation also, proceed in the direction of their divine vocation. He hath brought in ”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 23:26: 23:26-28 Saying 17: Falling for a promiscuous woman is a trap, not a source of benefit. Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes avoiding sexual relations outside of marriage (see ch 5; 6:20-35; 7:1-27).”