Understanding the Reason Behind Family Withdrawal at Church
The concept of family withdrawal from the church, or from family members due to religious differences, is rooted in biblical teachings that emphasize the primacy of allegiance to Christ, even when it causes familial division. Jesus himself stated, "I have come to set a man at variance against... his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law" [17]. This indicates that Jesus' ministry demands a decision for or against God that can divide even family members [18].
The New Testament uses the Greek word ekklesia for "church," which originally meant an assembly called out by legitimate authority [4]. It refers to the Christian congregation, not primarily a physical building [3, 4]. This assembly is described as the "body of Christ," composed of many different parts, each with its own function as determined by God [8, 9, 10, 14]. The unity of this body in Christ is paramount, transcending other differences [11, 12, 13].
While the Bible emphasizes the importance of family (e.g., a man leaving his father and mother to be joined to his wife [2, 6]), it also presents scenarios where loyalty to God takes precedence over familial ties. For instance, the Old Testament law regulated divorce, with differing interpretations among Jewish doctors in the New Testament period regarding its grounds [1, 7]. Christ, however, limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery, and these precepts regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church [7].
In cases where family members actively oppose or hinder one's faith, the New Testament provides examples of separation. The Apostle John, for example, describes a situation where an individual "does not receive the brethren" and "forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church" [5]. This illustrates a form of exclusion from the community of believers. Church discipline, including exclusion, is rooted in the conviction that God's people are to be holy and that sin corrupts fellowship [15]. The goal of such discipline is not vindictive retribution but the restoration of the wayward to holiness and fellowship [15].
Paul also described an unplanned departure from the Thessalonian believers as being "separated" from them, though this absence was unintentional and not neglect [16]. This highlights that separation, even from spiritual family, can occur, sometimes due to circumstances beyond one's control. The overarching principle is that allegiance to Jesus as Lord must transcend other relationships and will result in harmonious relationships within the body of Christ [11].
Sources
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — "a legal dissolution of the marriage relation." The law regulating this subject is found (24:1-4) and the cases in which the right of a husband to divorce his wife was lost are stated ibid ., (22:19,29) The ground of divorce is appoint on which the Jewish doctors of the period of the New Testament differed widely; the school of Shammai seeming to limit it to a moral delinquency in the woman, whilst that the Hillel extended it to trifling causes, e.g., if the wife burnt the food she was cooking for her husband. The Pharisees wished perhaps to embroil our Savi”
- Mark “Mark 10:7 (NASB) — "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER,”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Church — Derived probably from the Greek kuriakon (i.e., "the Lord's house"), which was used by ancient authors for the place of worship. In the New Testament it is the translation of the Greek word ecclesia, which is synonymous with the Hebrew kahal of the Old Testament, both words meaning simply an assembly, the character of which can only be known from the connection in which the word is found. There is no clear instance of its being used for a place of meeting or of worship, although in post-apostolic times it early received this meaning. Nor is this word ever us”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Church — + The derivation of the word is generally said to be from the Greek kuriakon (kuriakon) "belonging to the Lord." But the derivation has been too hastily assumed. It is probably connected with kirk, the Latin circus, circulus, the Greek kuklos (kuklos) because the congregations were gathered in circles. + Ecclesia (ekklesia) the Greek word for church, originally meant an assembly called out by the magistrate, or by legitimate authority. It was in this last sense that the word was adapted and applied by the writers of the New Testament to the Christian congrega”
- 3 John “3 John 1:10 (NASB) — For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church.”
- Ephesians “Ephesians 5:31 (BBE) — For this cause will a man go away from his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 12:12: 12:12-31 The church is like a body (see 12:27) composed of many different parts, each with its own function as determined by God (see 12:11, 18, 28; Rom 12:4-5).”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 12:27: members in particular--that is, severally members of it. Each church is in miniature what the whole aggregate of churches is collectively, "the body of Christ" (compare Co1 3:16): and its individual components are members, every one in his assigned place.”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 12:20: But now are they many members,.... Of different make and shape, in different parts and places, and of different use and service: yet but one body; all are united together, and make up one complete body, and which without each of them would not be perfect: so there are many members in the body of Christ, the church; some are teachers, others are hearers; some give, and others receive; but all make up but one church, of which Christ is the head; nor can anyone of them be spared; was anyone wanting, even the meanest, there would be a deficiency, and the church ”
- Colossians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Colossians 3:15: 3:15 Just as Christ is one, so there can be only one body of Christ (see 1:18; Eph 4:4-6). Allegiance to Jesus as Lord must transcend differences and will result in peace (harmonious relationships).”
- Galatians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Galatians 3:28: 3:28 There is no longer: Everyone comes to Christ and receives God’s promises in exactly the same way (cp. 1 Cor 12:12-13; Eph 2:14; Col 3:11). • male and female: Cp. Gen 1:27. • you are all one: The community of believers is one body, the body of Christ (see Rom 12:4-5; 1 Cor 12:27; Eph 2:15-16, 19-22). • in Christ Jesus: See Col 2:6–3:11.”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 12:25: 12:25-26 The church is a unified body, so harmony and care for each other in the church is essential.”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 12:14: For the body is not one member - The mystical body, the Church, as well as the natural body, is composed of many members.”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 18:17: 18:17 The church is the local Christian community. • The unrepentant person is to be considered a pagan or a corrupt tax collector, a wicked transgressor of the law. Church discipline by exclusion (excommunication; see Acts 5:1-6; Rom 16:17; 1 Cor 5:1-13; 2 Cor 6:14-18; Gal 5:7-12; 2 Thes 3:14-15) is rooted in the conviction that God’s people are to be holy and that sin corrupts fellowship, both between people and between the people and God. The goal is neither vindictive retribution nor a public display of power, but restoration of the wayward to holiness and f”
- 1 Thessalonians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Thessalonians 2:17: 2:17 separated: Paul describes his unplanned departure from Thessalonica (see Acts 17:10) as depriving these new believers of their spiritual parents. However, this absence was not neglect. As evidenced by Paul’s attempts to return to the church, the separation was unintentional (cp. Phil 1:7; Col 2:5).”
- Matthew (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Matthew 10:34: For I am come to set a man at variance against,.... Or "to divide a man from his father". Here our Lord opens and explains what he means by the sword, intestine divisions, domestic broils, family differences, as well as such as appear in towns, cities, and kingdoms, which are exemplified by other instances following; and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law: the case is this, a father believing in Christ, embracing his Gospel, and submitting to his institutions, is contradicted, opposed, and persecuted by his own son, ”
- Luke (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Luke 12:51: 12:51-53 I have come to divide people: Jesus’ ministry demands a decision for or against God that divides even family members.”