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Voluntary Surrender in Christian Relationships and Conflict Resolution

Voluntary surrender, in Christian thought, encompasses a range of actions and attitudes, from submission to God's will to self-sacrificial love in human relationships, often serving as a means of conflict resolution. The concept is deeply rooted in biblical teachings and exemplified by Christ himself [1, 14].

At its core, voluntary surrender involves a conscious choice to yield one's own desires, rights, or preferences for a greater purpose or for the benefit of others. This can manifest as "resignation" to God's sovereignty and purposes, as seen in Christ's prayer in Gethsemane ("not my will, but yours, be done") and in the exhortations to accept loss, chastisement, or bodily suffering [1]. The Old Testament concept of a "free-will offering" or "voluntary sacrifice" provides an early parallel, distinguishing gifts given spontaneously from those required by vow or expiation [2, 8]. These peace offerings, which could be offered as thanksgiving, to fulfill a vow, or voluntarily, were not mandated but were expressions of a reconciled relationship with God [3, 6, 9].

In Christian relationships, voluntary surrender is often linked to the concept of reconciliation, which signifies a change from enmity to friendship [4]. This change is mutual, affecting both parties [4]. The Apostle Paul urges believers to "forbear one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:13 KJV) [5]. This call to forgiveness and forbearance implies a willingness to set aside personal grievances and demands for retribution.

The New Testament further develops the idea of self-sacrifice and voluntary submission within the Christian community. Paul's description of Christian love in 1 Corinthians 13 emphasizes "the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others" [11]. This principle is echoed in his instruction to the Corinthians regarding lawsuits among believers: "Why not just accept the injustice? Christians are called to follow the example of Christ’s self-sacrifice" [14]. This suggests that in some conflicts, a Christian might voluntarily forgo their legal rights or claims for the sake of peace, the welfare of others, or the glory of God [14].

The concept extends to specific relational dynamics within the Christian household. Wives are called to submit to their husbands, a submission understood as part of their Christian commitment, while husbands are to love their wives [13]. This mutual relationship is intended to reflect the union between Christ and the church [13].

Voluntary surrender is also seen as a means of resolving conflict with those outside the faith or those who are hostile. Romans 12:20-21 suggests that "a simple act of Christian kindness can often bring a hostile person to repentance before God and restore fellowship between people" [10]. This implies that a voluntary act of goodwill, even in the face of hostility, can disarm an opponent and open the door to reconciliation.

The ultimate example of voluntary surrender is Christ's sacrifice. Hebrews 10:9 states that Christ came to do God's will, which involved His voluntary self-sacrifice, pleasing to God [12]. This act of Christ is the foundation for the reconciliation of humanity to God, restoring humanity to God's favor by satisfying the demands of justice [16]. This reconciliation is not a change in God's character but a provision of God's love [16]. Believers are called to participate in this pattern of self-giving, offering their lives as "living sacrifices" (Romans 12:1) and engaging in "basic Christian sacrifices" such as doing good and sharing with those in need [15]. Even Paul viewed his own life as an offering, stating, "Yea, and though I bee offered vp vpon the sacrifice, and seruice of your faith, I am glad, and reioyce with you all" (Philippians 2:17 Geneva1599) [7].

Sources

  1. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Resignation — Christ set and example of -- Mt 26:39-44; Joh 12:27; 18:11. Commanded -- Ps 37:7; 46:10. Should be exhibited in Submission to the will of God. -- 2Sa 15:26; Ps 42:5,11; Mt 6:10. Submission to the sovereignty of God in his purposes. -- Ro 9:20,21. The prospect of death. -- Ac 21:13; 2Co 4:16-5:1. Loss of goods. -- Job 1:15,16,21. Loss of children. -- Job 1:18,19,21. Chastisements. -- Heb 12:9. Bodily suffering. -- Job 2:8-10. The wicked are devoid of -- Pr 19:3. Exhortation to -- Ps 37:1-11. Motives to God's greatness. -- Ps 46:10. God's love. -- Heb 12:”
  2. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Free-will offering — A spontaneous gift (Ex. 35:29), a voluntary sacrifice (Lev. 22:23; Ezra 3:5), as opposed to one in consequence of a vow, or in expiation of some offence.”
  3. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Thank Offering, Or Peace Offering — the properly eucharistic offering among the Jews, in its theory resembling the meat offering and therefore indicating that the offerer was already reconciled to and in covenant with God. Its ceremonial is described in (Leviticus 3:1) ... The peace offerings, unlike other sacrifices, were not ordained to be offered in fixed and regular course. The only constantly-recurring peace offering appears to have been that of the two firstling lambs at Pentecost. (Leviticus 23:19) The general principle of the peace offering seems to have been ”
  4. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Reconcilation — A change from enmity to friendship. It is mutual, i.e., it is a change wrought in both parties who have been at enmity. (1.) In Col. 1:21, 22, the word there used refers to a change wrought in the personal character of the sinner who ceases to be an enemy to God by wicked works, and yields up to him his full confidence and love. In 2 Cor. 5:20 the apostle beseeches the Corinthians to be "reconciled to God", i.e., to lay aside their enmity. (2.) Rom. 5:10 refers not to any change in our disposition toward God, but to God himself, as the party reconcile”
  5. King James Version “[KJV] Colossians 3:13 — Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Peace Offerings — A male or female of herd or flock -- Le 3:1,6,12. The offerer required To give it freely. -- Le 19:5. To bring it himself. -- Le 7:29,30. To lay his hand upon its head. -- Le 3:2,8,13. To kill it at tabernacle door. -- Le 3:2; 8:13. Required to be perfect and free from blemish -- Le 3:1,6; 22:21. The priest Prepared. -- Eze 46:2. Sprinkled the blood on the altar. -- Le 3:2,8,13. Offered the inside fat, &c by fire. -- Le 3:3,4,9,10. Laid it upon the daily burnt offering to be consumed with it. -- Le 3:5; 6:12,13. Waved the breast as a wave-offering. ”
  7. Philippians “Philippians 2:17 (Geneva1599) — Yea, and though I bee offered vp vpon the sacrifice, and seruice of your faith, I am glad, and reioyce with you all.”
  8. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Peace offerings — (Heb. shelamim), detailed regulations regarding given in Lev. 3; 7:11-21, 29-34. They were of three kinds, (1) eucharistic or thanksgiving offerings, expressive of gratitude for blessings received; (2) in fulfilment of a vow, but expressive also of thanks for benefits recieved; and (3) free-will offerings, something spontaneously devoted to God.”
  9. Leviticus (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Leviticus 22:21: 22:21 A peace offering could function in several ways: as a thanksgiving offering, an offering to fulfill a vow, or a voluntary offering (see 3:1-17).”
  10. Romans (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Romans 12:20: 12:20-21 A simple act of Christian kindness can often bring a hostile person to repentance before God and restore fellowship between people.”
  11. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”
  12. Hebrews (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Hebrews 10:9: Then said he--"At that time (namely, when speaking by David's mouth in the fortieth Psalm) He hath said." The rejection of the legal sacrifices involves, as its concomitant, the voluntary offer of Jesus to make the self-sacrifice with which God is well pleased (for, indeed, it was God's own "will" that He came to do in offering it: so that this sacrifice could not but be well pleasing to God). I come--"I am come." taketh away--"sets aside the first," namely, "the legal system of sacrifices" which God wills not. the second--"the will of God" (Heb”
  13. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
  14. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 6:7: 6:7 Even to have such lawsuits with one another is a defeat for you: To sue a fellow believer reflects self-interest rather than concern for the welfare of others or the glory of God. • Why not just accept the injustice? Christians are called to follow the example of Christ’s self-sacrifice (see Matt 5:38-42).”
  15. Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 13:16: 13:16 to do good and to share with those in need: These are basic Christian sacrifices (6:10; 10:24, 34; 13:1-3); they characterize life in the Christian community.”
  16. 2 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 2 Corinthians 5:18: all--Greek, "THE." things--all our privileges in this new creation (Co2 5:14-15). reconciled us--that is, restored us ("the world," Co2 5:19) to His favor by satisfying the claims of justice against us. Our position judicially considered in the eye of the law is altered, not as though the mediation of Christ had made a change in God's character, nor as if the love of God was produced by the mediation of Christ; nay, the mediation and sacrifice of Christ was the provision of God's love, not its moving cause (Rom 8:32). Christ's blood was the ”
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