When to Stop Forgiving Ourselves for Lustful Thoughts
The Struggle with Lustful Thoughts
The question of when to stop forgiving oneself for lustful thoughts is rooted in the Christian understanding of sin, forgiveness, and the human struggle with desire. According to Augustine, the internal conflict begins with the perception of something through the senses, which can lead to unlawful pleasures of thought [1]. This internal struggle is a common theme in Christian theology, with various traditions offering guidance on how to navigate it.
In the view of the early Church Fathers, lustful thoughts are considered a sin if one consents to them. Augustine argues that consent to wicked thoughts is a form of unrighteousness unto sin [1]. Tertullian also emphasizes the role of the mind in sin, suggesting that the soul is enticed by desire only after it has assented to the suggestion [3]. This understanding is echoed in the Reformed tradition by John Calvin, who advises believers to "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before" [7].
The process of forgiveness is not about ceasing to forgive oneself, but rather about understanding the nature of sin and forgiveness. Calvin notes that "pardon cannot be in excess" and that believers should beware of giving way to extreme dread, which can lead to despair [4]. Instead, believers are encouraged to cultivate continence and mortify the works of the flesh through the Spirit [2].
The Eastern Orthodox tradition, as represented by John Chrysostom, emphasizes the importance of self-control in avoiding lustful thoughts. He advises that not looking at a woman is a means of overcoming lust with greater ease and purity [5]. Similarly, the Nonconformist/Puritan tradition, as seen in Matthew Henry's commentary, exhorts believers to flee youthful lusts and follow righteousness, faith, and charity [6].
Sources
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — CHAP. 12.--THERE IS A KIND OF HIDDEN WED LOCK IN THE INNER MAN.UNLAWFUL PLEASURES OF THE THOUGHTS. (part 2): unrighteousness unto sin;(1) this, I think, is to be considered as if the woman alone should have eaten the forbidden food. But if, in this consent to use wickedly the things which are perceived through the senses of the body, any sin at all is so determined upon, that if there is the power it is also fulfilled by the body; then that woman must be understood to have given the unlawful food to her husband with her, to be eaten together. For”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — ON CONTINENCE. (part 12): us not lay this so great good unto our own spirit, as though of itself it can do this. For, in order that we should not entertain that carnal sense, the spirit being dead rather than that which putteth others to death, straightway he added, "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God."(5) Therefore that by our spirit we may mortify the works of the flesh, we are led by the Spirit of God, Who gives Continence, whereby to curb, tame, overcome lust. 13. In this so great conflict, wherein man under Gra”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — FROM THE LATIN. (part 1): mind, unless he has discovered already, that when an enticement to any desire arises, nothing is accomplished until the assent of the soul is gained, and the authority of the mind has granted indulgence to the wicked suggestion; so that a claim might seem to be made by two parties on certain probable grounds as to a judge residing within the tribunals of our hurt, in order that, after the statement of reasons, the decree of execution may proceed from the judgment of reason.[2] For, to take an illustration: ”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 58: pardon cannot be in excess. And yet we must always beware, according to the apostolic injunction, of giving way to extreme dread, as this tends to make us shun God while he is calling us to himself by repentance. Wherefore, the advice of Bernard is good, “Grief for sins is necessary, but must not be perpetual. My advice is to turn back at times from sorrow and the anxious remembrance of your ways, and escape to the plain, to a calm review of the divine mercies. Let us mingle honey with wormwood, that the salubrious bitter may give ”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Acts & Romans: beautiful women, as it is while looking to restrain one’s 426 self. Or rather the first would be no trouble at all, but immense toil and labor comes on after looking. Since then this trouble is less (most mss. add, “to the incontinent”), or rather there is no labor at all, nor trouble, but the greater gain, why do we take pains to plunge into an ocean of countless evils? And farther, he who does not look upon a woman, will overcome such lust not only with greater ease, but with a higher purity, as he on the other hand who does look, getteth free with”
- 2 Timothy (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 2 Timothy 2:22: I. Paul here exhorts Timothy to beware of youthful lusts, Ti2 2:22. Though he was a holy good man, very much mortified to the world, yet Paul thought it necessary to caution him against youthful lusts: "Flee them, take all possible care and pains to keep thyself pure from them." The lusts of the flesh are youthful lusts, which young people must carefully watch against, and the best must not be secure. He prescribes an excellent remedy against youthful lusts: Follow righteousness, faith, charity peace, etc. Observe, 1. Youthful lusts are very dangerous, for whic”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 69: imputes sin are enemies, and, therefore, our sins must be covered and forgiven before the Lord has respect to any of our works. From this it follows, that the forgiveness of sins is gratuitous, and this forgiveness is wickedly insulted by those who introduce the idea of satisfaction. Let us, therefore, after the example of the Apostle, “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ,” ( Phil. 3:13, 14 )”