Who Are Meant by Father and Mother in the Fifth Commandment
The fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother" (Deuteronomy 5:16), primarily refers to one's biological parents but is often interpreted more broadly in Christian tradition to include other figures of authority [5, 6]. This commandment is foundational, appearing in both Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, and is notable as "the first commandment with promise" (Ephesians 6:2) [5].
The immediate and primary meaning of "father and mother" refers to the biological parents who receive their children from God [1]. Children are expected to show them love, fear, and reverence, which includes obeying their commands, submitting to their corrections, and acknowledging offenses against them [4, 8]. This honor extends to holding parents in high esteem, speaking respectfully of them, and behaving towards them with veneration [4, 7]. The father's position as the head of the family is expressly sanctioned in Scripture, reflecting God's authority over His creation [2]. Parents, in turn, have duties to their children, such as loving them, bringing them to Christ, training them in God's word, and providing for them [1].
Beyond immediate parents, various traditions expand the scope of "father and mother" to include those in parental roles or positions of authority. John Gill, a Baptist commentator, suggests that the commandment can extend to all ancestors in the ascending line (grandparents), as well as those who stand in the place of parents, such as stepparents, guardians, and nurses [5]. He also includes "all superiors in dignity and office," such as kings, governors, masters, ministers, and magistrates [5]. Matthew Henry, a Nonconformist Puritan, similarly interprets the fifth commandment as concerning "the duties we owe to our relations," though he emphasizes the duties of children to their parents as the primary focus [6].
The concept of honoring parents is deeply rooted in the idea that parents represent divine authority [3]. Jesus himself affirmed the importance of this commandment when asked about inheriting eternal life, quoting it alongside other commands (Matthew 19:17-19; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20) [3]. The command to honor parents is not merely a suggestion but a divine command, written by God and delivered by Moses, and is considered to be of a moral nature and eternal obligation [7]. The fear mentioned in connection with honoring parents (Leviticus 19:3) is understood as a filial fear, combined with love and affection, rather than a servile dread [8]. This fear includes inward esteem and reverence, outward respect, and a readiness to obey their commands [8].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Father — The position and authority of the father as the head of the family are expressly assumed and sanctioned in Scripture, as a likeness of that of the Almighty over his creatures. It lies of course at the root of that so-called patriarchal government, (Genesis 3:16; 1 Corinthians 11:3) which was introductory to the more definite systems which followed, and which in part, but not wholly, superseded it. The father's blessing was regarded as conferring special benefit, but his malediction special injury, on those on whom it fell, (Genesis 9:25,27; 27:27-40; 48:15,20”
- Deuteronomy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Deuteronomy 5:16: 5:16-20 Jesus quoted these five commands in response to the question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Matt 19:17-19; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20). 5:16 Honor: Since parents are representatives of divine authority, children are to recognize them as worthy of obedience and great respect (cp. Eph 6:1-3).”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 6:2: Honour thy father and mother,.... This explains who parents are, and points at some branches of obedience due unto them; for they are not only to be loved, and to be feared, and reverenced, their corrections to be submitted to, offences against them to be acknowledged, their tempers to be bore with, and their infirmities covered; but they are to be honoured in thought, word, and gesture; they are to be highly thought of and esteemed; they are to be spoken to, and of, very honourably, and with great veneration and to be behaved to in a very respectful manner; and the”
- Exodus (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Exodus 20:12: Honour thy father and thy mother, &c. Which is the fifth commandment of the decalogue, but is the first commandment with promise, as the apostle says, Eph 6:2 and is the first of the second table: this, though it may be extended to all ancestors in the ascending line, as father's father and mother, mother's father and mother, &c. and to all such who are in the room of parents, as step-fathers and step-mothers, guardians, nurses, &c. and to all superiors in dignity and office, to kings and governors, to masters, ministers, and magistrates; yet chiefly respects immedia”
- Exodus (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Exodus 20:12: We have here the laws of the second table, as they are commonly called, the last six of the ten commandments, comprehending our duty to ourselves and to one another, and constituting a comment upon the second great commandment, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. As religion towards God is an essential branch of universal righteousness, so righteousness towards men is an essential branch of true religion. Godliness and honesty must go together. I. The fifth commandment concerns the duties we owe to our relations; those of children to their parents are alone”
- Matthew (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Matthew 15:4: For God commanded, saying,.... That he might not be thought to suggest this without any foundation, he gives them an instance, wherein a command of God was transgressed, by the observance of their tradition: the command he refers to, stands in Exo 20:12 and is this; Honour thy father and mother. This was a plain command of God, written with his own hand, and delivered by Moses to them; it was of a moral nature, and of eternal obligation: and to be understood, not merely of that high esteem parents are to be had in by their children, and of the respectful language a”
- Leviticus (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Leviticus 19:3: Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father,.... This has respect to the fifth command, which is the first with promise, and is here referred to first, because a man has his beginning in the world from his parents, and by them he is trained up in the observance of all the other laws of God, equally to be respected; and the fear of them is not servile, but filial, joined with love and affection to them, and includes an inward esteem and reverence of them, an outward respect unto them, a readiness to obey their commands, and giving due and equal honour unto the”