Role of Wives as Helpmates in Christian Marriage
The role of wives as "helpmates" in Christian marriage is rooted in the biblical account of creation, where God states, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18 NASB). The Hebrew phrase ezer ke-negdo translates to "a help as his counterpart" or "a help suitable to him," indicating a complementary relationship rather than one of inferiority [1].
This foundational concept is further developed in the New Testament, particularly in the Pauline epistles. Passages such as Ephesians 5:22-24 and Colossians 3:18 instruct wives to submit to their husbands. Ephesians 5:24 states, "But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything" [3]. This submission is often understood within the context of mutual submission, as suggested by Ephesians 5:21, which calls for Christians to be "submitting to one another in the fear of Christ" [6]. Matthew Henry, a Nonconformist commentator, interprets this as a general foundation for relative duties, emphasizing a yielding and submissive spirit among Christians [6].
The concept of the husband as the "head of the wife" (Ephesians 5:23) is frequently linked to Christ's headship over the Church [9]. John Chrysostom, an early Church Father, explains that just as Christ is the "Saviour of the body," the head (husband) is the "saving health of the body" (wife) [9]. This analogy highlights a protective and life-giving role for the husband, mirroring Christ's relationship with the Church [9]. The Tyndale House commentary notes that Christian marriages are intended to reflect the union and relationship between the Lord and the church, with wives submitting and husbands loving their wives [5].
Beyond submission, biblical texts outline various duties for wives. These include loving their husbands (Titus 2:4), reverencing them (Ephesians 5:33), being faithful (1 Corinthians 7:3-5, 10), and obeying them (1 Corinthians 14:34; Titus 2:5) [4]. Wives are also encouraged to adorn themselves with modesty, sobriety, a meek and quiet spirit, and good works, rather than solely with outward ornaments (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-5) [4]. Matthew Henry, in his commentary on 1 Peter 3:1, clarifies that a wife's duty of subjection involves an "affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands" [7]. This instruction was given even to Christian wives married to pagan or Jewish husbands, to prevent them from thinking their conversion exempted them from this duty [7].
The role of a wife as a helpmate is not seen as diminishing her importance. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown, in their Presbyterian commentary, emphasize that "neither sex is insulated and independent of the other in the Christian life" [8]. They argue that man and woman together realize the ideal of redeemed humanity, represented by the Church as the bride of Christ [8]. The creation narrative itself, where Eve is taken from Adam's side, is seen by some as foundational to the spiritual marriage between Christ and the Church, with natural marriage serving as a representation of this deeper spiritual reality [10].
Historically, the distinction between a wife and a concubine in ancient Jewish society, as described in Easton's Bible Dictionary, underscores the unique status of a wife. While concubines were conjugally united to a man, their relation was inferior, lacking authority in the family, though laws existed for their protection [2]. This historical context further highlights the established and respected position of a wife within the household.
Sources
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Help-meet — (Heb. ezer ke-negdo; i.e., "a help as his counterpart" = a help suitable to him), a wife (Gen. 2:18-20).”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Concubine — In the Bible denotes a female conjugally united to a man, but in a relation inferior to that of a wife. Among the early Jews, from various causes, the difference between a wife and a concubine was less marked than it would be amongst us. The concubine was a wife of secondary rank. There are various laws recorded providing for their protection (Ex. 21:7; Deut. 21:10-14), and setting limits to the relation they sustained to the household to which they belonged (Gen. 21:14; 25:6). They had no authority in the family, nor could they share in the household gov”
- Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (NASB) — But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Wives — Not to be selected from among the ungodly -- Ge 24:3; 26:34,35; 28:1. Duties of, to their husbands To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To reverence them. -- Eph 5:33. To be faithful to them. -- 1Co 7:3-5,10. To be subject to them. -- Ge 3:16; Eph 5:22,24; 1Pe 3:1. To obey them. -- 1Co 14:34; Tit 2:5. To remain with them for life. -- Ro 7:2,3. Should be adorned Not with ornaments. -- 1Ti 2:9; 1Pe 3:3. With modesty and sobriety. -- 1Ti 2:9. With a meek and quiet spirit. -- 1Pe 3:4,5. With good works. -- 1Ti 2:10; 5:10. Good Are from the Lord. -- Pr 19:14. Are a token of ”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
- 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 3:1: The apostle having treated of the duties of subjects to their sovereigns, and of servants to their masters, proceeds to explain the duty of husbands and wives. I. Lest the Christian matrons should imagine that their conversion to Christ, and their interest in all Christian privileges, exempted them from subjection to their pagan or Jewish husbands, the apostle here tells them, 1. In what the duty of wives consists. (1.) In subjection, or an affectionate submission to the will, and obedience to the just authority, of their own husbands, which obliging conduct would”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 11:11: Yet neither sex is insulated and independent of the other in the Christian life [ALFORD]. The one needs the other in the sexual relation; and in respect to Christ ("in the Lord"), the man and the woman together (for neither can be dispensed with) realize the ideal of redeemed humanity represented by the bride, the Church.”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: is not, “but, nevertheless,” as the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their husbands, etc.—Ellicott, Meyer, Bengel, Calvin, and Alford.—G.A.] as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.” Then after saying, “The husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is of the Church,” he further adds, “and He is the Saviour of the body.” For indeed the head is the saving health of the body. He had already laid down beforehand for man and wife, the ground and provision of their lo”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:31: For--The propagation of the Church from Christ, as that of Eve from Adam, is the foundation of the spiritual marriage. The natural marriage, wherein "a man leaves father and mother (the oldest manuscripts omit 'his') and is joined unto his wife," is not the principal thing meant here, but the spiritual marriage represented by it, and on which it rests, whereby Christ left the Father's bosom to woo to Himself the Church out of a lost world: Eph 5:32 proves this: His earthly mother as such, also, He holds in secondary account as compared with His spir”